दीवारें

झुक रही हैं दीवारें शायद थोड़ी
सहारा देने के लिए।
घंटो इन दीवारों को घूरा है मैंने
कुछ धब्बे हैं शायद सीलन के,
कुछ निशान हैं पुराने पेंट के,
कुछ तो गड्ढे भी हैं शायद
कही कील ठोकने के।
एक घडी है जो पौने आठ पे अटकी है,
खिड़की है जो रात में अँधेरा सोक लेती है,
ऊपर एक उंगाता सा पंखा
गर्मियों के इंतज़ार में रुका पड़ा है।

समझ रही हैं शायद वो भी
सुन्न पड़ा है सब
और सर्दियों के अँधेरे में
जम रहा है सब।
आँखें अँधेरे में बुन रही हैं,
वही तस्सवुर का जाल
जो टूट जायेगा सुभह
रौशनी की पहली किरण के साथ।

इसिलिये झुक रही हैं दीवारें शायद थोड़ी
सहारा देने के लिए।

A year of dormancy

6th November 2014 to 6th November 2015

A year has passed
of dormant emotions lying in the sheets
of unknown perplexity.
Opening and closing of closures
and of deeds never achieved.

A year has passed
of escaping from and sometimes running into
the darkness or the light
of another feeling flying
in the vast grasslands under the sky.

A year has passed
of never really writing
of writing and hiding
of sharing the writing
then wondering why did I share.

A year has passed
Upholding in my gut
changing with the world
letting go of certain things
and still adamant on some.

A year has passed
I know none of you
I know some of you
I live in the paper boat
Floating over the chances of knowing you.

A year has passes
my ink has dried
turned from black to grey
like the thoughts that I hid
somewhere in my chest.

A year has passed
I rely on myself
the world is a silly place I tell you
at the end, for yourself
Its only you.

A year has passed
I see some faces brimming up repeatedly
I can depend on them
They feed my irregular thoughts
I wish one was mine in those.

A year has passed
of accepting the fact that
I am not impeccable, I am deniable
I am not a rear view mirror
I am not closer than I appear.

A year has passed
Finally figuring this out
'This' is me
Trying to achieve the dreams
which are stupid to others.

A year has passed
from where I was
to where I am
supposedly where I will be
in another year from now,

would you wait to see?

Picture Courtesy - Hardik Photography

'A year of dormancy' is written just one year after my last post on my blog. My blog which was once so crucial to me, which I nurtured like my own little one, doesnt even exist for me now, unfortunately. I grew indifferent to my will for writing. I wrote in hidden crevices and denied sharing. I was quite the opposite a year back. I certainly come in those people who prefer saying 'I wrote for you', instead of 'I felt for you'.
This post is out of anger and disappointment with respect to the fact that I left writing. Or writing left me...........Or perhaps it never did.

Dastak

Photo by Neel Kamal Pandey

us jang lagey taale ke peeche

malbey jaisi deewaro ke peeche

main shor hu ya sannata hu

main roshni hu ya andhera hu

tu de dastak, main batata hu

main teri hi kahani hu

kuch yaado ke jaale simte hain

halki dhoop ke mele hain

main ateet hu ya aagaami hu

main mohobbat hu ya nafrat hu

tu de dastak, main batata hu

main teri hi ruswaai hu

tujhe khurechi hui deewarein milengi

tujhe do nahi, kai parchaiyaa milengi

main kuch toote dilo ka raag hu

main ankaha koi fasana hu

tu de dastak, main batata hu

main teri roohani shaam hu

par ek darwaza hai kahi chupa hua

jaha tere jaisa koi hai band pada

main teri aas hu

main tera gumaan hu

tu de dastak, main batata hu

main tujh jaiso ko uksati lagaam hu

You dont know me

You dont know me.

I'd stand in front of the crossbow

i'd bleed for you.

My hands wont shiver

and words will be over.

You dont know me.

I'd drown in the ocean for you

Yes, I know swimming though.

Weightless body will float

while it awaits for your boat.

You dont know me.

I walk the barren lands
unknown to any man.
Would you come to the rescue?
when you hear I am dead?

You dont know me.

Look at me with the corner of your eyes,
I'll burn with your single sight.
My flesh flying like burning paper
covering the entire sky.

Dont you know me?
Dont you know me by now?



Picture courtesy- Hardik Photography

Feels right

Bathing in the sulking tides
of whats wrong and whats right
I make the sins come true
Believe me, its real.

Bathing in the lush wild dreams
who thought they could exist
the body moves and lures
it feels so wrong.

Bathing in the starless night
the moon is shining so bright
The world whispers its wrong
You say its right.

Bathing in your acute thoughts
It is so wrong, yet feels so right
The confusions stay
I take a leap moving on.

Bathing in the dusty past
Am doing wrong,
am doing right
I am doing you,
for tonight.

Consume Me

Consume Me
Like the rain would
Consume the soil
Dont leave any trail

Consume me
Like the wind would
Consume the sky
Dont let the Sun shine

Consume me
Like the weeds would
Consume a dead body
Cover me bit by bit

And then mold me
Like a potter would
Mold a vase
out of nothing new

And then mold me
Forgetting my older body
create a new one
From your own hands

And then mold me
Despite many errors
I'll give you countless chances
Let me be discovered

And then mold me
In such a way
that you would love to
consume me
again & again

Let me be your song

Let me be your song
which you sing to the stars
when you are alone at night
or walking during day time

Let me be your song
Which you can sing to the birds
which at my window, once chirped
they left my paradise for your heaven

Let me be your song
which can open up your doors
of opportunities and love abound

Let me be your song
which you will hum to yourself
in monotonous tone when
you are amongst your friends

Let me be your song
which you can sing to the nature
when it soaks you in monsoon
or sweats you in summers

Let me be your song
which can be played when you
wait for your loved one
on your wedding day at the church

Let me be your song
your voice will give it beauty
Removing all your pains
Magical, Your life remains

Let me be your song, dear love
which you can lull to your kids
somewhere in future
Even when am dead

Let me be your song
which you can change the rhythm of
but the words will always remain the same

And I hope this is written on my tombstone that;
I was sung by the best soul all throughout his life
With each verse you gave me blessings
Making our each memory engrave on the aurora sky

Picture Courtesy- Hardik Photgraphy