ठंडे पाओं

बारिश के पानी में
फिर ना जाने क्यू
हाथ गरम और
पाओं ठंडे पड़ गये
सोचा फिर कोई नया खेल चला है तुम्हारा
ठंडा गरम, गरम ठंडा
मुड़के देखा पीछे तो कोई था नही
बस कुछ पेरो के निशान
कुछ नरम सी आहटे
दो चार और थोड़ी बातें
बेवफाह तुम नही
पर यादें हैं तुम्हारी
मनचाही अपने मन की करती हैं
जब मन करता है आ जाती हैं
यूही उठकर चली जाती हैं
गढ़ी की टिक टिक
या बारिश की टिप टिप
दोनो तुम्हारे नाम हैं
फिर सीधे पाओं चली
देखा एक धुंधली सी आस है आगे कोई
आँखो का कोहरा है
या मन का विश्वास है
आगे चलने लगी तो पाया
पाओं फिर ठंडे पड़े और हाथ गरम
झूठ कहा था नही आ रहे
अब तो तुम्हारे झूठ सच से ज़्यादा मीठे लगने लगे हैं
खुश्बुओं से कितने महेकाओगे आशियाने को
अछा अब बस भी करो
ये बारिश भी तुम्हारी साजिश है ना
अब बस भी करो
और उस आस ने हाथ थाम लिया
फिर पाओं ठंडे पड़े और हाथ गरम
लेकिन इस बार बारिश को नही कोसा
क्यूंकी अब वजह थे तुम

adhoori baatein...

suno, kuch baatein adhoori rehne do

mann bhara rehta hai

takalluf se sochne do

baarish ki boondo ko ginne do

harr boond mein samai tumhare yaado ko

sulagne do

kuch baatein adhoori rehne do

aayine mein khud ko tumhare liye

niharne do

bikhre mann ko aur bikharne do

dil hi dil mein muskuraane do

bechaini mein tadapne do

kuch baatein adhoori rehne do

shabdo ko piroh nahi rahi

aashao ko bataur nahi rahi

sambhalna nahi chahti

girne do.. fisalne do

kuch baatein adhoori rehne do

intzaar mein kiske

khidki par baithi hu kal se

kiske pasandeeda rang se 

khud ko sanwara hai

kyu kisi ke liye 

gam bhi cheeni sa chakh liya

taareekhein aakhir kiske liye gin rahi hu

ye sab chodo

kuch baatein adhoori rehne do

This is a special, very special dedication to PACH. Mainly cos we all keep waiting for the next session and the waiting is always worth. Yes, I have said it many times but I dont mind saying it again- PACH is the best gift I have ever received. 

Picture Courtesy- Hardik Photography

First Rain

A winter, an autumn have passed
Since I haven't seen you
Your hands that embraced
Your love that swept me
Are all counted in the bygone days

The heavy rain proves it
The leaves that fall, the shelter it breaks
Maybe you broke mine

But crippled flowers bloom again
Even after the heavy rain
Yes, its time to bid goodbye
To your memories I don't want to recognize

Look! the rain has come
Washing me ashore to a new land
Which doesn't have a magic you once had

After witnessing thousand showers with you; for you
This one is mine and only mine
My First Rain is here
It wants me to grow once more
Absolute, Determined

Goodbye My lover, Goodbye My friend

-of mistakes, of pain, of agony

Yesterday we shook our hands for the last time

All this while I had waited for a gesture from your side

And when it finally did;

It brought me serenity, peace & smile

Maybe the time has come
when I see everything in black & white
The old photos bring you to me
the innocent smiles on our tired faces

The lilies have grown and faded
Spring had come and gone
But not has just spring indeed;
Many seasons have passed us by

The clock is tired of reminding me
that I should grow against the odds
Still I have been so resilient
That I'd never let it depart

Is it just me or you too?
Lest we make a change
And grow out of cowardliness
Without the convolutions

And so I let my fear go
Not only because the time asked me to
Well, cos I had to grow stronger
And let those gaps disappear

Not wondering how and when
Not thinking whether you'd accept it or not
The pale skin is about to fade; of mine
Ready to thrive!

When the wounds open, they often tend to heal

Photo Credits: Hardik Photography 

If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad

Its been a long time since I've written something here and even longer since I've written about 'someone' straight from heart. Yet, this post goes out happily to a girl I've met by fluke. Only two things gives me irks at the bottom of my heart: one, seeings plastic bags at my home and two, setting adieu to someone dear. Letting go is surely the hardest moment of all. So, this post clearly goes off at bidding goodbye to a girl we all know, all because am better at writing than saying.

Meeting someone gives you a smile
Knowing that someone makes you feel content
Acknowledging lows & highs brings a strange feeling of togetherness
Goodbyes sets you even closer

Like a winterland princess, living in her own forms, surviving against all odds, somehow managing to set sails in high tides, filled with elation- this is remarkably known Jagriti. With her roll number prior to mine, I've grown fonder of her, slowly yet definitely. With each summer shining bright, each rain getting stronger, each autumn making us move on and each winter getting colder, she's risen above all.

You know when you meet someone
There's a flicker in eyes, a charm in words
Another attitude flowing in awes and oos
Its another friend you've met.

There's something about her, I thought clicking pen on my bench when she walked in the classroom; a rare sight, seriously. Which is beyond we can see, imagine or understand. She has a gift by Him. A gift which she knows she possess and respects it. Its not just a gift of being beautiful outside, its something deep inside. There's some charade about her, which makes us go even crazier for her.

Its been a long time, yes
Some enigma in her soul
I frequently ask this question
How can someone remain so blithe?

I knew this quote was right: "the girl who laughs the most is the one who cries at night", used a lot in movies and often deduced out of a happy girl by all. Bogus! Delusive! Made up!
Jagriti has changed my definition of being 'happy'. The supernatural being who's made everyone her's, seeing through the transparent mind and soul of all. Flowing in with all's sorrows and smiles. I've seen her grow even better than us.

The break-ups leave us crippled
More parched for true love
She has however gone a different way
Break up brings you closer to the real 'you'.

The girl who has emerged in a better way after break up. Never looked back and sailed with good winds leaving the world watch her with every step she takes towards mending herself all throughout. Personally, its because of her I started taking my break-ups in an affirmative manner. Will I ever see her again? This is a question I've stopped asking, for we set our own trends & ways. Sooner or later, meeting is marked.


I see you flying a midst the storm
Is this delusion that I see your wings?
Or is it as they say;
you are truly a blessed one

The sun is setting we say
You'd rather wait for new days
Filling wounds with happiness
Would you teach us how?

Blitheness, cheerfulness, delight
You've made it yours- the dark night
We see you fly
"There she goes, when we might see her again?"

The numb words have preoccupied us
Here are the only ones that I have:
May you glow higher than moonlight
The world shall never set you apart
Glee be your mate forever
Happiness stay with you thereafter

-Much Love
Aavika

Well, the post doesn't end here, a few words by your algorithms are:

Anjali 
With you, I need no long essays to express my love
I'll miss your routine calls
I'll miss your tragic stories
The fun we had that night
The chats we used to have during labs

The way you used to irritate me by your silly questions
Trust me, no one can do that, that cutely
No matter where we all end up Jagriti,
You will be missed
Love

Anu
Jagriti, you are the most jaunty and lively person I have ever met. Your mere presence brings a msile to everyone's face... you are the girl with purest soul.. I will miss your stupid long long stories and the way you said "anjali, anu kuch samajh nahi aa raha kya karu". when you are totally blank during exam times (actually most of the time). Just want to say all the best for your future, may you get through the best college and succeed in your life ahead. Keep laughing an take care, will miss you a lot and I know you will miss me too.
P.S- Benzene hamari presence feel karta rahega tumhe!

Shivangi
I would remember you as a girl who hardly attended college. Every other day you had something or other to share with all those twists and turns in your crazy life. A girl running for assignments, attendance or some advice, with no relatives in Delhi but so many friends. Hope to see you a little less confused in future and continue being smart, sweet, hot, fun, lively, bubbly person that you are. And all these years spent in chem hons venky, we have a strong bonding with "Benzene".

Vartika
Adieu!
Miss horny! I know I realized it later but its a toast to be your friend in every way. You are the inspiration for all of us to live your life so lively. I treasure every moment spent with your especially the naval thing (our new invention together). It wont be the same without you girl. Wish you a best "kanpuria" life ahead!

Happy times! 

Just we all look so grown up here! :O

Fly high Jagriti!

You Form An Inseparable Part Of My Life

                                                       -An Irreplaceable Love of Father & his daughter

I see his wrinkles appearing as my cheek bones do
I see his skin getting dull as mine starts getting new
His shoulder gets weak as he carries his bag to work
His feet gets swollen sometimes red
His eyesight is diminishing with every passing seasons of nature
He is my father & I am his daughter


I remember the days he carried me on his shoulder
The long walks in middle of huge forests
Him running besides my bicycle rides
When I look back, I see his face admiring mine
What fury of nature is this
Which I fail to understand?


We see the seasons transiting over time
Old leaves fall and new arrive
The nature but; fails to destroy our bonds
Love; astounding love that exists in our souls
One day will arrive
When he may not be around
When he might be a part of nature only
But sadly, not of me
What will I do then; I ask myself
For I keep shut for a while
And put the thoughts aside


His wrinkled hands may not be on my head
His awaited morning hugs may not be any more cherished
Indeed, life will go on forever
With his teaching that I will always remember
"Believe in yourself", as he'd always say
"Don't look back and to yourself; never betray"


He holds my hand through time of worry
I behold my head up high and fly
The black sky turns beautiful blue at once
As I keep my head on his shoulders
For time may come and time may go
He is my father & I am proudly his daughter

Paramour for Nature

Happy days, sad days, gloomy days, lazy days, enjoying days, tiring days, stressful days, celebration days, fun days and all kinds of days come and pass me by, at which sometimes, I love to look back, with hatred or with a smile on my face.

Apart from this, I have always felt a void in my days, something lacking. We all need someone who would love us back, love us even more than what we offer and of course, asking nothing in return except our presence. Such cellophane attitude cannot be apprehended from humans who continue always look for some favors in return or alongside of our love. 

I bereft a cherished, darling, endearing. I beggared a pet since my imagination took off its first flight. Here are a few strands of my imagination which are buried deep within my heart, yet insatiable of pure love:

How about a dog?

I woke up one winter morning with red polka dotted pajamas on, wondering where did my orange-cum-green jute slippers go. Without stressing my mind with absence of slippers, I saw my dog, Bubbles chewing them. Bubbles is a female lazy Saint Bernard puppy with brown patches on her white soft fur, who sleeps most of the times and loves to sit on my feet, at remaining times. I fell in love with her at the adoption site at an NGO. We usually go out for long drives and I allow her to sit at front seat with her light pink tongue floating out of window in direction of wind. Bubbles is a pure vegetarian like me and sticks around with me all the time. Being a girl, she listens to me patiently and never leaks my secrets to anyone. She likes colorful clothes and caps, we usually match on every detailing of wearings. Sitting by lake on a green portion of grass , under our favorite Mahagony green tree on weekends is our favorite thing to do. She always sits near the doormat waiting for me with eyes glued at the stairs that lead to our first floor home.

Bubbles, a lazy Saint Bernard.

Or a turtle?

Chloe is a female Star Turtle, a month old when I got it from an aquarium shop very near from a metro station. Chloe is a happy-go-lucky soul and a very articulate one too. Always residing in her glass & wooden box kept right above my book shelf and right next to the window, she has just enough sunlight coming in from window to provide her with vitamin-D for her healthy bones. I have set up two table lamps to give her enough warmth, a little tub of water where she daily enjoys her bath and two-three plant pots which in summers, I replace with flower pots too (which she loves to eat). Chloe is a pure vegetarian like me and enjoys only lettuce & spinach unlike me. At night, I detail her with aces of my day, after which she goes off to sleep.

That's how Chloe likes it in her natural aura. 

Pet isn't something which is put in cage and seized its freedom. Pet is adored, cared for, dearest, idolized, well-liked, precious and very close to heart. You only give it food to eat, shelter to stay in, babyish time and it gives you its heart & soul. For all those lucky people who have a pet, be it a bird, a dog, a cat, a rabbit or anything, continue to love your animals as family. And as for me, I can only hope & imagine I integrate my life and acquire the missing puzzle piece, soon.  

The Conversations

Mr. and Mrs. Singh are a happy-go-lucky couple who have been together since decades. Their children are off-set and married and they live together. "Alone"? I asked. "We aren't alone beta, we are together", Mr. Singh says while looking at Mrs. Singh. And smiled at each other.
Mr. Singh used to jog, but not anymore, Doctor has advised him not to run much; jittery he's a heart patient. I see them usually walking together in the morning.  Mr. & Mrs. Singh are not like any random aged couple, who remain shush all the time- Irritated and make others irritate. They are more of a chit-chat who laugh a lot, remain and make people happy.
Mr. & Mrs. Singh were "arranged" to fall in love. The way they look at each other, smile, laugh is a real calm moment. They do gardening together at their little balcony where they can also be seen mostly seen sipping tea. I guess Mr. Singh sips more tea than Mrs. Singh, along with some home-made biscuits his wife prepares.
They have a son and a daughter, both married and happy. I guess the son lives outside India.
"Don't you miss your children", I asked with a pity face.
"Of course we do, but we are still happy. They have settled, they do visit quite often. Believe me or not, I like it now as I get to spend more time with my wife", he said teasingly as Mrs. Singh pours water in bird bowl, smirking. A funny couple they are. They manage to go for combined tours with other long-time-gone-old couple friends of theirs and send pictures to their children via internet. Mrs. Singh is learning computers currently from a young female girl dropping by on alternative days for an hour daily. Some guy used to come earlier to teach but Mr. Singh refused.
"You see she's still so beautiful. I don't want some man to come and flirt around", he said angrily.
"And the man was even younger than our own son Singh Sahab", she said pointing.
"Huh!", he grinned.
Terrace breakfast is a common site while friends coming for dinner is a rare one. Mr. Singh lately adopted a dog, which he wanted since ages; his daughter was allergic so he compromised.
"Its a nice time", he said looking at his dog.
"Seems like we've gone back to childhood. I don't have to think anymore what people will think, what our children will. I no longer have to satisfy and fulfill our children's need. The pension is enough to live a few more years until we can", he said. And Mrs. Singh slapped his head from back.
I don't think they get intimate. They are quite old for that. They just converse. Conversations last forever. Each relation is based on what you talk and how you talk. Even if intimacy would bring people together, it'll remain permanent. Talks about anything & everything with equal share from both bring people close, bonding them in a bond that lasts till the end of the world. Surely, it takes one lifetime to know a person. One must utilize as much time as possible to remain adhered.
Don't we all want to end up like Mr. & Mrs. Singh?

And they lived Happily ever after...

Celebrating Womenhood

I may not have seen God. But I have seen my mother. That's the only simple way I can describe a women. A mother- the best person, women in the universe.

She adds colors to our lives. A sister, a mother, a friend, a daughter.
She is incomparable. (Picture by Hardik Guarav)

A daughter, the best supporter.
A friend, the best booster.
A sister, the best friend.
A teacher, the best guide.
A Lover, the one who makes you feel complete.
A women is an epitome of strength. Pillar of power. Shadow of God. Pill of happiness.  An architecture of patience. An appealing beauty inside-out.
Rain of  Love. Spring of awesomeness. Summer of magic. Winter of innocence.
Being 19, am myself on the road of moudling into a women, or have I? I forbid saying that. I am nowhere near a mother for sure.
She sacrifices. She supports. She Loves. She shields. She protects. She stands for all, even when none stands for her. She is as strong as an iron. She is as soft as a flower. She is fearless. She is the most beautiful thing nature has made. She is selfless. She is a multi-tasker. She is inspiring. She is magnificent. She is breathtaking. She is moving. She is majestic. She is grace. She is marvelous. She is exquisite. She is ideal. She is gorgeous.  She is tender. She is darling. She is praise. She is charm. She is adore. She is angel. She is omnipresent. She is immortal in the hearts of all.
She is a women.
The words seem less when you describe a women- any.

A father's strength, hope and friend. A daddy's girl.

Her laughter gives life to the entire world

Her patience, tolerance is unmatched

And she blooms like a flower in the lives of all

She feeds her children, shelters and protects them
 even in the hardest of times.

And just when she grows old; she has crossed the bars of perfection
.......like a million times.

Another season ends

"The ending is a new beginning", they say quite often. Or so, I thought.
Last week, I went to the last wedding of this so-called Marriage Season. The Indian Marriage.
Wherein, the women in backless blouses, net sarees. Somewhere exposing backs, or somewhere big fat bellies. Talking about their in-laws. Rather, bitching. Hopping around at every food stall and pushing everything in their mouths, as if never seen a lot. As a matter of fact, everyone does that. Girls stalking guys. Guys stalking girls. Offsprings jumping at every place possible. Women just enviously gazing at each other's jewellery and attire. And men, what to say.
Well, this post isn't about blabbering and bitching, its more about the big fat Indian Weddings. Each marriage now has a corner separate for pictures and a photographer appointed for the same. Not everyone knows the couple much, but for sure all will go up the stage and get the pictures done with the couple. Along with lots of zooming and unnatural poses, I say the photographers are the best things to happen at the wedding. The deejey ofcourse isn't bothered. And so are the chefs. However, all the tables do have plenty to fresh flowers, which I ensure atleast a bouquet is stolen by me at every wedding.
And yes! The brides ofcourse! are bothered more for giving good poses, she knows the pictures will go on facebook. Agreed, the time has changed!
The winter winds starts immensely at around 12 midnight or so. As yet, no girl will show they are dieing in net sarees with backless blouses. If they say, the parents will adamantly say "told you so". Rather, they pretend its a summer breeze. Funny! Yes, for sure, Indian marriages are the best thing to occur. The food is free and so is the sight seeing. Comeon! At most of them, I dont even know who is marrying whom. Never-the-less, I do know which stalls were there!

Waiting for next marriage season to arrive soon.