A year of dormancy

6th November 2014 to 6th November 2015

A year has passed
of dormant emotions lying in the sheets
of unknown perplexity.
Opening and closing of closures
and of deeds never achieved.

A year has passed
of escaping from and sometimes running into
the darkness or the light
of another feeling flying
in the vast grasslands under the sky.

A year has passed
of never really writing
of writing and hiding
of sharing the writing
then wondering why did I share.

A year has passed
Upholding in my gut
changing with the world
letting go of certain things
and still adamant on some.

A year has passed
I know none of you
I know some of you
I live in the paper boat
Floating over the chances of knowing you.

A year has passes
my ink has dried
turned from black to grey
like the thoughts that I hid
somewhere in my chest.

A year has passed
I rely on myself
the world is a silly place I tell you
at the end, for yourself
Its only you.

A year has passed
I see some faces brimming up repeatedly
I can depend on them
They feed my irregular thoughts
I wish one was mine in those.

A year has passed
of accepting the fact that
I am not impeccable, I am deniable
I am not a rear view mirror
I am not closer than I appear.

A year has passed
Finally figuring this out
'This' is me
Trying to achieve the dreams
which are stupid to others.

A year has passed
from where I was
to where I am
supposedly where I will be
in another year from now,

would you wait to see?

Picture Courtesy - Hardik Photography

'A year of dormancy' is written just one year after my last post on my blog. My blog which was once so crucial to me, which I nurtured like my own little one, doesnt even exist for me now, unfortunately. I grew indifferent to my will for writing. I wrote in hidden crevices and denied sharing. I was quite the opposite a year back. I certainly come in those people who prefer saying 'I wrote for you', instead of 'I felt for you'.
This post is out of anger and disappointment with respect to the fact that I left writing. Or writing left me...........Or perhaps it never did.

That poem. This day. #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 3

I was lost

in some corners of world

where dark secrets lay

and everything is forbidden

I was lost

trying to find a path

what belonged to others? 

and what was mine? 

I was lost

which direction to go

back or move forth

undecided I moved

But look what I found! 

words to express

words to cherish

words to befriend

And so I let my fear go

driving into the blended poems

Travelling what lies beyond eyes

Into the mist of dreams abound

That was my first poem I remember

written with heart

-The Path

A special dedication to Saumya di for its because of her I started writing. 

Dil dhoondta hai..

kitni raatein beet gayi
gin rahe ho na tum? 
mere haalato pe haste hoge na tum?
par aaj bhi
dil dhoond raha hai
un rangeen raato ko
fir un taaro ko

sheeshe mein dekh itminaan se
sochte hoge na?
haule haule bikhar rahi hu? 
par aaj bhi
dil bataur raha hai
toote hisso ko
aage badhne ki chah ko

baarish ki boondo se nafrat ho gayi hogi? 
kyu? harr boond yaad dilati hai meri? 
darwaza band karke duniya se bekhabar ho jate hoge? 
par aaj bhi
baarish ko utna hi sarahti hu main
tumhari nahi
jeene ki yaad dilati hain ye boonde

in sardiya bhi haath garam the tumhare? 
ya bistar ki silvato mein dhoond rahe the mujhe? 
fir razai aansuo se geeli ki hogi? 
par aaj bhi
mann mazboot kar rakha hai
dekha? sardiya bita li na tumhare bina

haan, kabhi kabar
dil intzaar karta hai darwaze ki chaukhat par
bechain hota hai 
fir ladkhadane chahta hai
yaado mein doobne ka bhi jee karta hai
par aaj bhi
dil tumhare bina saans le raha hai
par aaj bhi
dil dhoondh raha hai
tumhe nahi.. kisi aur ko
kyunki dil fir pyaar mein padna chahta hai

Picture Courtesy- Hardik Photography

If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad

Its been a long time since I've written something here and even longer since I've written about 'someone' straight from heart. Yet, this post goes out happily to a girl I've met by fluke. Only two things gives me irks at the bottom of my heart: one, seeings plastic bags at my home and two, setting adieu to someone dear. Letting go is surely the hardest moment of all. So, this post clearly goes off at bidding goodbye to a girl we all know, all because am better at writing than saying.

Meeting someone gives you a smile
Knowing that someone makes you feel content
Acknowledging lows & highs brings a strange feeling of togetherness
Goodbyes sets you even closer

Like a winterland princess, living in her own forms, surviving against all odds, somehow managing to set sails in high tides, filled with elation- this is remarkably known Jagriti. With her roll number prior to mine, I've grown fonder of her, slowly yet definitely. With each summer shining bright, each rain getting stronger, each autumn making us move on and each winter getting colder, she's risen above all.

You know when you meet someone
There's a flicker in eyes, a charm in words
Another attitude flowing in awes and oos
Its another friend you've met.

There's something about her, I thought clicking pen on my bench when she walked in the classroom; a rare sight, seriously. Which is beyond we can see, imagine or understand. She has a gift by Him. A gift which she knows she possess and respects it. Its not just a gift of being beautiful outside, its something deep inside. There's some charade about her, which makes us go even crazier for her.

Its been a long time, yes
Some enigma in her soul
I frequently ask this question
How can someone remain so blithe?

I knew this quote was right: "the girl who laughs the most is the one who cries at night", used a lot in movies and often deduced out of a happy girl by all. Bogus! Delusive! Made up!
Jagriti has changed my definition of being 'happy'. The supernatural being who's made everyone her's, seeing through the transparent mind and soul of all. Flowing in with all's sorrows and smiles. I've seen her grow even better than us.

The break-ups leave us crippled
More parched for true love
She has however gone a different way
Break up brings you closer to the real 'you'.

The girl who has emerged in a better way after break up. Never looked back and sailed with good winds leaving the world watch her with every step she takes towards mending herself all throughout. Personally, its because of her I started taking my break-ups in an affirmative manner. Will I ever see her again? This is a question I've stopped asking, for we set our own trends & ways. Sooner or later, meeting is marked.


I see you flying a midst the storm
Is this delusion that I see your wings?
Or is it as they say;
you are truly a blessed one

The sun is setting we say
You'd rather wait for new days
Filling wounds with happiness
Would you teach us how?

Blitheness, cheerfulness, delight
You've made it yours- the dark night
We see you fly
"There she goes, when we might see her again?"

The numb words have preoccupied us
Here are the only ones that I have:
May you glow higher than moonlight
The world shall never set you apart
Glee be your mate forever
Happiness stay with you thereafter

-Much Love
Aavika

Well, the post doesn't end here, a few words by your algorithms are:

Anjali 
With you, I need no long essays to express my love
I'll miss your routine calls
I'll miss your tragic stories
The fun we had that night
The chats we used to have during labs

The way you used to irritate me by your silly questions
Trust me, no one can do that, that cutely
No matter where we all end up Jagriti,
You will be missed
Love

Anu
Jagriti, you are the most jaunty and lively person I have ever met. Your mere presence brings a msile to everyone's face... you are the girl with purest soul.. I will miss your stupid long long stories and the way you said "anjali, anu kuch samajh nahi aa raha kya karu". when you are totally blank during exam times (actually most of the time). Just want to say all the best for your future, may you get through the best college and succeed in your life ahead. Keep laughing an take care, will miss you a lot and I know you will miss me too.
P.S- Benzene hamari presence feel karta rahega tumhe!

Shivangi
I would remember you as a girl who hardly attended college. Every other day you had something or other to share with all those twists and turns in your crazy life. A girl running for assignments, attendance or some advice, with no relatives in Delhi but so many friends. Hope to see you a little less confused in future and continue being smart, sweet, hot, fun, lively, bubbly person that you are. And all these years spent in chem hons venky, we have a strong bonding with "Benzene".

Vartika
Adieu!
Miss horny! I know I realized it later but its a toast to be your friend in every way. You are the inspiration for all of us to live your life so lively. I treasure every moment spent with your especially the naval thing (our new invention together). It wont be the same without you girl. Wish you a best "kanpuria" life ahead!

Happy times! 

Just we all look so grown up here! :O

Fly high Jagriti!

Am keeping you Forever & for always

"Rain has its own share of magic".
Her mood usually goes with the weather and vice-versa. Cold breeze hits her white face and hair making them flow with its direction. The tiny rain drops starts hitting the red umbrella making a musical sound. She's alone standing under the umbrella where 'they' earlier were. Sometimes its only a walk in breezy rain that you need. It doesn't solve anything, it just gives you an awakening that it shall go on for some more time, just deal with it. She goes for a walk wearing brown rain boots. Street lights look so admiring like a beautiful pastel painting and so does the head lights of car. Her shadow follows her. When nothing is behind you to protect you from falling, there's a part of you for sure who never leaves. Leaves of trees collide with each other with the force of breeze, 'its a song of nature' they say. But it wasn't just an evening walk, she knew where she was going. It took 10 minutes to go the the highway by bus, but she preferred walking, for the nature insisted. After a long walk by time but short by mind, she reached near a tree with red & white strips painted on it. She bent over near a tiny heap of soil, kept her umbrella aside and started digging with bare hands. The rain went even lighter, as if letting the process go easy for her. Pictures started colliding in her head back to back- this is where they met by fluke, where they kissed for first time, where they parted ways, where she buried his last memories. What she was finding was surely a little deep inside, as if buried so with thought of never finding it again.
Some layers of soil and emotions later she found what she has left, found what she was looking for, for which rain went down- a silver heart pendant that her 'better-half' had given her. She removed all the soil over it, picked her umbrella and took a bus this time for she was tired of fighting emotions. She wanted to get back home as early as possible. Back home, the pendant was kept near a frame which had 'their' photo together. Its not really easy to move on from something, especially if a piece of you won't let you do so. "Even if I will never see you or talk to you, I will always keep a part of you with me", she said holding that pendant.

Empty Lockers

Once a venkyite, always a venkyite

"Finally the day has come when we empty our lockers", I said looking in her eyes and she broke down in tears instantly.
Chemistry Hons is mostly about labs, I say to people. You spend four hours daily in labs, testing, detecting, creating, destroying, burning, breaking, charring, sweating, finding, washing, heating, drying, rushing and what not, obviously wearing a lab coat. In a trice after the final practical, it felt like its time has come to return the apparatuses, empty our very own lockers and go forever out of the place which always felt like ours. No more acid marks on our clothes, shoes or burns on our skins, annoying teachers screaming on head, stinky smell from lab coats which became un-washable for all mothers, all has passed us by. Thats the point when you know; its time to go.
The foyer where we made our plans, files, assignments, the back lawn where we ate and hang out, the front lawn where we prepared for exams, the dark science block, will keep lingering in my thoughts forever; maybe in black & white.
Another great phase has ended.
This too, has passed.
These are a few photos which will remind us of labs for a long time.

The botany lab

Physics ka dark room!

the memories of fuming H2SO4 which aastha is taking with her

monika during physical practical

when we were freshers

inorganic labs

The last words. Of parivartan. Of gratitude.

The remembrances of older days are recollecting in my head like a flash right from my first year to this very moment. "The most important question of life is what are you doing for others?"
Like dew drops each memory is clinging to the tree and will now fall one at a time. With every dream coming true- right from multiple camps to a heavy step like clean satya to a risky business like Sugraahi or haphazard event with slum kids 2 days back, each one has come out beautifully. A real successful year this 2012-2013 was.
I convey my thanks to my members, my family. "I must be cruel only to be kind". I thank everyone for tolerating my anger & showing your patience. 8 am morning meetings or leaving college at 8-9pm after work memories are the ones I am taking with me.
The farewell was beautiful, really beautiful for I could see glimpses of our work at the back of my head and in eyes of everyone with beautiful annual magazine in hands. I do not wish to thank by taking names as you all have made me proud. The team would have been incomplete with anyone missing.
Keep up the good work you guys! Keep going this way; for this way is the best of all. We all have seen this video- but I want everyone to view this when something upsets or bothers you, ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IReflkF4_tc&feature=youtu.be

For now, its time for me to say Goodbye. With tears of joy, of happiness, of pain, of love, of laughter of everything I wish you all good luck for years to come.

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land

The Last First Day

Its 2012 now. The last session at college has kicked off. Freshers coming in new wonderful dresses which I know I would never wear at college. Me being in something very regular. I stand at the lobby waiting for someone. The same someone who's been there with me since two years. Till then I stare at people- nothing better I could have done. The walls seem so old yet so new to me. The noises the crowd make makes me feel so related. The person entered the lobby. We went straight to the class. Science- cant help it. The break came, we went to the canteen. Not much people around, but thats how we like it. The canteen seemed a bit renovated though. We preferred to sit outside. Under the shed. And so the talks started. The normal talks. We dont really need more friends. We know we are sufficient for each other. All of a sudden, we started remembering the previous two years- of college, of fun, of friendship, of shopping, of bunking, of fights, of togetherness. We means me & Vartika.

I must admit, this is our best picture ever.

College life has been so full with her, only her. We went into deep thoughts and suddenly it started raining.
"My first Delhi rain of this session", she said
"Of course", I said.
We saw the rain dancing with slow and fast steps. We saw people running back to classes.
"Dont worry, I have my umbrella", I said.
She smiled.
The rain dripping in through the leaking canteen sheds- on us, on food. We didnt bother.
"I just wish we have a plain, simple, tension free year", I said.
"Me too", she said.
 Somewhere deep down we knew the beginning of ending has started. Its gonna be the last year at college. It was the last first day at college of constant classes.
A long silence followed. 

Annoying 'G' word

Agonizing, annoying, bitter, hard, thorny, that's how I can describe the "G" word. The feeling I never wanna be preoccupied with. The feeling I relinquish. The feeling I deny. The feeling that irks me a lot.
Am ugly at saying 'Goodbyes'.
I always ignore saying it.
What happens when someone goes, and you don't know how long you'll have to wait for them?
What happens when deep down you know, its gonna be another 'long while' to see one glimpse?
What should I do? What should I say?
The regulars, bye, take care, have fun, have a happy journey and all?
I brush off saying these. Alas! The feeling I posses, can't be moulded into words, sentences, frames.
For a glee person like me, I am used to getting 'used to' to people/things.
I cant even let go off the 'things', not to forget. I still seize the first friendship band I got in 2nd standard, the boxes of chocolates I get, the dried up roses in middle of old books. No matter they get dusted pretty well, I feel secured in heart. Surely, its even harder to say Goodbyes to people. People maybe friends, neighbors, teachers, classmates, friends of friends and what not.
Especially if they are going somewhere where you know the regular hellos would get lessened. The bona fide pokes would disappear. When you would long for a cup of coffer or the messages on phone.

In that case, all I would do is get & give a bear hug, say bye and leave. Somewhere, at the back of the mind, there are a million things I wanna say, but they just get sealed with a smile on the lips and wrapped with an invisible tear in the eye.
Afterall, The Goodbye isn't too Good. 

Caught in the Animation! :O

Vaguely, am completely into this movie am watching on sunday afternoon with biscuits or anything which I can replace with popcorn. How much does it matter if its animated? If its cartoon? The best movies I have seen are either on Disney (mostly) and a few on HBO or Star Movies. Consequently, Disney is the Godfather of animated movies. All I know about these ones are, they'll never let me down. They just make sure, the ending it perfect! These are the ones that gave birth to 'princess stories' and 'happy endings'. Even if they are the one with the dwarfs, or with an evil mother, an evil witch, or and handsome prince, speaking toys & cars, barbie dolls and all the princesses the world has ever known, not to forget speaking fishes too!
"The world is cruel outside. It will break you apart, or eat you alive", is this is what you are ever thinking, then its high time you turn your heads towards these. No matter how dumb, rejected, stupid, irritated you feel, Disney will make sure you completely have a different mind post the movie!
Maybe, it throws you in an imaginary world, but after all, Life is how you see it. Life is how you feel it. Life is what you make it.
Here are the ones that have ideologically won by heart, mind and soul:

The story of a little elephant with huge ears that looks abnormal to many,
and rejected by all, except his mother. He still following his dreams.

the original Alice  in Wonderland. How Life can itself be a 'dream'

Love saves Life. The movie rewarded with 'best Disney princess ever'

Awww!! Pooh! Our favorite bear in the world!  Animals too have heart!

Go outside your comfort level! Sometimes Life's worth a risk!

Love sees no money.

I sometimes still wonder, what my toys do at my back!!

Never give up on dreams! They are the best things one possess

Its never too late to follow your dream. Better late than never.

Until a man hasn't loved an animal, a part of him remains undiscovered

A shark, jelly fishes, whale or even humans come your way, dont ever give up on Hope!
You know you can still make it.

Love sees no face. It only sees heart. At the end, the feelings stay.

Remember, no lies!

If you have what it takes to risk everything to find the True Love, then  the magic
will always be on your side.

Fame is not everything. Love, friendship, Life is found beyond Fame.

No matter how hard it is to prove your worth, keep trying. After all, Adventure
is another name of Life

At last, the pure hearted and beautiful princesses.

The Story of 'Her' Life

I very clearly remember how I met her. In the train. Sitting opposite to my birth. Her mates offering her the vodka, she taking just a sip, asked me "Vodka?", happened to be her first word to me.
"I dont drink", I said
She gave away the drink. Smugged.
Thats where we met. Opposite upper births of train.
And thats how our rest of the night went, talking about which courses we do, ambitions we have, hobbies we keep, people we admire, songs we listen and so on.
We enjoyed the upcoming days together. It was destined we meet, thats what I can say.
Acquaintances we were.
Sadly, not all NSITians stay in touch. Surprisingly, all 'their' people usually sit on the same couch as mine.

Monali Sisodia
Studying in Swami Keshavanand Institute of Technology, Management and Gramothan.
And profoundly, studying in 3rd year when I met her.
An institute in Jaipur where she was to become a Scientist.

Or so, wasn't written.
"I dont wanna be a scientist yaar! Its getting over the head", suddenly a message shows up when I just reached home at evening from the depressing life of 1st year at college.
"Its okay! Maybe you are too sick of exams appearing", I replied
She called.
And in hassled way we talked.
She left it. Just before her exams appeared.
And completely changed her profile.

Monali Sisodia
Frameboxx Animation

An insitute in Mumbai where she is to become an animator.

God will always give you many ways to pick. You must pick what is best for you. For, He shall never pick on your behalf. Even when you think you've happened to have picked the wrong one, He shall rewind the time for you and bring you again the two paths. Maybe the same older ones. Or maybe the completely derived new ones. Nevertheless, He, surely will.

Doleful, we never got to spend enough time with each other. Blithe, she frequently calls and messages me the updates of her life.

Right now, she is about to complete her animation and do a splendind job in the same. With the annual function upcoming at her college, and height maybe 5"10 she is the showstopper of Fashion Show.
With a lovely pretty face she has, I dont know what they will make her fom the "Gothic" theme.

She, completely changed her Life. Took a decision that, she knew will compell her to transform the outlook of herself. Made her parents understand her priorities and grew completely as a beautiful butterfly out of a cocoon.
Moreover, she recenlty did a photoshoot of a model, as far as I remember.
"Toh kya hua khud model nahi ban sakti, photo toh le hi sakti hu", thats the message she'd sent me.

Dont know, when the time shall come and we meet. Do all the things we scheduled. But, the time shall come, I encourage myself .
Lionized into success. I wish she fills her cup with more of that with divine luck, faith, hardwork and beatitude.
Love will always flow from my side, I assure you.

Completely Naive..:)

The whole year passes by, I, pretending always how grown up I am. Like how coolly I can just do everything: Shopping, billing, and blah blah. Just it happened on the morning of 14th Novemeber, when just as the ritual, my dad gave money to my younger brother (who is 14 going to 15) to spend on 'Children's Day'. I, envious even asked for mine. Not just the money I demanded, but 'a right to be a child again' was what I wanted. My dad gave me none. Why? Cos 4 months to go, am gonna be 19.
Depressed, I return back to looking-in-the-mirror-while-brushing. How lame! I say while I bang my brush on the basin. Off to college in the metro, I still dreamed of a few years back, when even I celebrated at school (even buying a spring roll with friends at canteen was a celebration).

The wondrous years passed by, and never had I thought they would pass too soon. Playing whole day, no one to scold. I was the winner of all the games, which comprised of Stappu, gallery, hide n seek and many more. Swinging on the swings, swinging the highest, we always tried to touch the top bar of a tree behind, tremendously while swinging. Bob cut, open, air rushing through them while swinging. How amazing those days were. And I ruled the world, the gang leader I was, in my 3-6th standard school time. Just a few days back it was when I learned to ride a bike with my oldest of oldest friend- Deeksha. Falling down at every paddle, still she pushing me to try again. No heartbreak warfares. No fights, discrimination. Asking for a glass of water after every half an hour of playing from 'Ground floor wali auntie', we used to call. The skipping rope, my record for 117 skips non-stop. Dare would anyone break it. The rolling skates. The dolls. The kitchen set. The daddy's shoulder. The parent's scolds. Going to the school with a water bottle around the neck. Singing the nursery poems with actions. No matter what, I still have maintained the favorite hobby: Fighting with my brother almost daily, pulling my dad's cheek daily and pissing off my sister, again, daily. Watching cartoons is still in my daily catalogue.

So, where did those days go? True- Day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different. 
And so, arrives Dhaula Kuan Station, I get down. A 15 minutes walk from childhood to adulthood. From school to college.
The day passes just as I superficially wished all "Happy Children's Day". Home back, the celebration starts. Shahi paneer made at home (in which the paneer slicing was done by me, proud) followed by an ice cream. And so, as rightly said by dad-"No matter how much you all grow, you will still and always remain kids for us". (I glanced if that meant for my almost 22 years sis) Relief!

"Some people do not become adult. They just remain childlike ever-green, and luckily, you are one of them", says my mum to me.

Somewhere, we have the infant in us. Let it come out, for a child cannot be caged.
Happy Children's Day to all!

The Best Thing I Ever Had

"U bitch! Kal frndship's day hai.", she text me.
"I know. What's bitchy about it?", I replied.
"U didn't even make any plan", she says.
"What plan? Sab usual. You come at evening. We going to daddy's to buy friendship bracelet. We going to kfc. You buying me krushers. Aur kya? ", I say.
":) Okie dokie.. :* ", she replied.
Same routine has been carrying out since ages. I, wearing a top given to me by her. Not gifted, literally, 'given'. (As the top now fits me instead of her).

This one began with some unexpected things. The first thing happened, when my door bell rang and she popped up with six yellow flowered bouquet in her hand. Six flowers signifying the six most platinum years of our life- our friendship bond since six years. I, awed, completely flattered, for at each valentine's & friendship's day, I am supposed to buy her flowers. The tradition, yet the same, the characters, inter changed.

So, we decided to go to daddy's, to still follow the tradition to tie friendship's bracelet. The old school ritual, yet in our hearts and souls. Still wearing the previous year's on our wrists, in order to replace it with new one. Rooted with the special attitude, we kept searching for one in the entire renowned sector-6 market. Found nothing. Finally, went to archies.
"The bag looks classy to me", I said looking at one.
"Looks like some sabji mandi types", she said.
I giggled. Found no such thing called a valuable band, we postponed it to future shopping.
That signifies the uniqueness. how opposite poles of earth we are. How mismatched our likes and dislikes are.  The hoax that friends have alike habits and what not, is proved wrong by us. Well, that is one reason why we always shop together for each other. She selecting her gift, I, paying for it & the other way round.
The day ended at kfc, she eating the non-veg stuff, and me, being a pure vegetarian, only sipping the mochalash (followed by stealing away her french fries). We laughed as we saw couples together at friendship's day.

She & I have grown up together. Known each other since we didn't even know how to use a kajal. Gulped down each other's flaws and still keeping in mind the another one is way too perfect, that's the beauty of our relationship. Our bond since seventh standard has always nurtured. Have moaned together, laughed together, shopped together, cried together, studied together (me doing even her bit for I have completed her assignments and English homework, even after I changed my school, she always bribed me with golgappas) in short, grew up together.
We ensured our every firsts happened together, so that none of us was left out. We ensured we are there for each other even when the other one doesn't say so.




"Right partition or left?", she texts me one day at 5 am for she had a date with someone.
I, still eyes shut, replied "left".
Same has happened to me, there have been none of the messages which she hasn't replied to.

"You are the best thing that happened to me... I'd be dead without you and of course some friends are always more important than lovers and equally important as family.. In fact you are a family.. Thanks for coming into my life and let's hope to die as godmothers of each other's children <3 <3".

The best message ever, that too sent by my bestest best friend- Samvita.. on Friendship's Day. 

I, didn't reply, actually, I couldn't reply. Just had a smile on my face with an assurance that, even when nobody's on my side, you are there.. Like you've always been... Like you'll always be.
You are the best thing I ever had.
With all the Love in my heart, soul & luck, I thank you for every second of six years we've spent.
Our friendship will live forever & ever till eternity.

The intertwining of God and Him

A true inspiration for all.
R.I.P Hussain. 

It was my friend's post which brought me to the fact that he is no more. Trust me, social networking sites can be beneficial sometimes. In shock, outraged, antagonized, I start thinking deep down of him. 
He was the man! He was M F Hussain. An out of the world painter, artist indescribable, awarded both Padma Shri and Padma Bhushan as well as Padma Vibhushan. Film director, producer, as well as a poet. Then follows my second thought, how he was thrown out of his own land. Reason: he portrayed some sacred Hindu Goddesses in non-acceptable avatars. Was exile its remedy? He was disrespected as he was a Muslim. What the so-called- religious groups saw was a Muslim outraging Hinduism. Even though, that's their mentality. For a man with so much love in his heart, a man born even before the revolts of independence started in the blood of Indian's, a man with compassion and no impure thoughts in his mind and soul to outcast another religion, it is impossible to hurt the sentiments of anyone. In fact, a painter is considered as having given a god gift, he is the person with most soothing soul, the only field which has always been respected the most since 500 BC. 
Anyway, am not here to justify what was wrong, what was right, for I will hurt his soul more. Am just here to forecast his life, how he lived and what he lived for. A few facts which general people do not know. 


I remembrance very well, I was in seventh standard, where we had a unit of M F Hussain, his life : From where he was, till where he is. He was still in India till then, else the unit would have been dislodged. These are the extracts:




"A self-taught artist, Muqbool Fida Hussain was born in 1915 in Maharashtra. His mother died when he was one and a half years old and his father married again. At an early age he learnt the art of calligraphy and practiced the Kulfic khat with its geometric forms. He also learnt to write poetry while staying with an uncle in a madrasa in Baroda, an art that has stayed with him through his life. His early education was perfunctory but Hussain's love of drawing was evident even at this stage. Whenever he got a chance he would strap his painting gear to his bicycle and drive out to the surrounding countryside of Indore to paint the landscape. In 1937 he reached Mumbai determined to become an artist, with hardly any money and lived in a cheap room. Initially Hussain apprenticed himself to a painter of cinema hoardings which he would paint with great dexterity perched on scaffolding sometimes in the middle of traffic, earning very little to afford his living in Mumbai. But, that didn't stop him from living his dreams. 
Hussain was noticed for the first time in 1947 when he won an award at the annual exhibition of the Bombay Art Society. Subsequently he was invited by Souza to join the Progressive Artist's Group. A great deal of experimentation in the early years led to some remarkable works Re Between The Spider And The Lamp, Zameen and Man. By 1955 he was one of the leading artists in India and had been awarded the Padma Shri. He was a special invitee along with Pablo Picasso at the Sao Paulo Biennial in 1971. Along with several solo exhibitions he had major retrospectives in Mumbai in 1969, in Calcutta in 1973 and in Delhi in 1978. He has participated in many international shows which include Contemporary Indian Art, Royal Academy of Arts, London 1982; Six Indian Painters, Tate Gallery, London 1985; Modem Indian Painting, Hirschhom Museum, Washington 1986 and Contemporary Indian Art, Grey Art Gallery, New York 1986.
In 1967 he won the Golden Bear at the International Film Festival at Berlin for his documentary Through the Eyes of a Painter and has made several short films since then. Hussain was awarded the Padma Bhushan in 1973, the Padma Vibhushan in 1989 and was nominated to the Rajya Sabha in 1986. One of the most charismatic artists in India today, he is known for his emphatic understanding of the human situation and his speedy evocation of it in paint. The early evolution of his painterly language was overtaken by adventurous forays into installations and performance art. His experimentations with new forms of art are both unexpected and pioneering.
Hussain has studios in several cities in India but lives mainly in Mumbai."


Called the "Picasso of India" by Forbes Magazine, he was a man completely down to Earth. Even though his paintings would fetch him millions of dollars, his lifestyle was yet the same as before. 
At Dubai, where he had spent his many years of life, he was frequently spotted coming out of local cinema halls after watching latest Bollywood flicks. 

"I remember meeting the grand old man walking out of a cinema theatre. He gleamed like a teenager. I don't remember the movie but it was definitely a Hindi potboiler. That defined the man," said Raghav, a Dubai resident.

Hussain always interacted with common men on the streets, a habit he did not desert here.

"I think his best moment in Dubai came in November 2007 when he booked the entire tickets of a local cinema hall screening Madhuri Dixit's comeback film Aaja Nachle," said Ayesha, a Sharjah resident.

On this occasion, Husain booked 194 seats for the movie as a treat for his special guests from all walks of life. He distributed tickets as invitations on which the veteran painter's autograph and a sketch of Madhuri was
inscribed. The artist was known to be a great fan of the actress, whom he also cast in his film 'Gaja Gamini'. Hussain also held several private exhibitions during his stay here. He came to Dubai to work on the history of Arab civilisation.

True to the man himself, all his mannerisms were unique.

Even his apartment looked like an Arab majlis, a tent like structure where he used fabric instead of his own paintings. A round carpet in his studio was uniquely laid out half on the ground and half up the wall. He had on display paintings that he once sold for Rs 100-150.

Husain's last visit to his hometown was in 1995, when he received the 'Pandhari Bhushan' Puraskar instituted by a local organisation. Tears well up in the eyes of 86-year old Khudabuddin Sharifoddin, cousin of M F Husain, as he remembers his association with the iconic artist, who spent his formative years in this town in Pandharpur, western Maharashtra. 
"He asked me how did his mother, my mother's sister, look like as he had lost her at an early age. He asked me where was the 'kabr' (resting place) of his mother located," he said, talking to reporters at his house at Kalikadevi Chowk, in the vicinity of the famous Vitthal temple, which attracts lakhs of devotees.

Then, to the delight of the nearly 10,000 people who crowded to watch him exhibit his deft strokes, Husain drew a sketch of a beautiful woman, in 10 minutes flat, on a bull!

Not difficult to guess that the drawing was of his muse -- Bollywood's then reigning queen Madhuri Dixit. For days, the locals paraded the bull around the town.
A local painter S Pataskar, recalled Husain's last visit here. "It was as if Pandharpur had come to a standstill.
Around 10,000 people gathered to see the master at work. Husain mingled freely, shook hands with people and spoke in chaste Marathi."

After receiving the award, Husain went to Vithal-Rukmai temple and had a "darshan" of the deity. 
He died in London this year, at the age of 95, where he longed to smell the soil of his country.

One can love MF Hussain or one can hate MF Hussain but one cannot ignore him. Here are a few paintings of him, which eventually are my all time favorites. 

He painted all bare-foot, as he worshiped his work.

Love

Blue head 

Mother Teresa- his inspiration

His favorite animal- Horse 

Poornima

Indian Mythology