Annoying 'G' word

Agonizing, annoying, bitter, hard, thorny, that's how I can describe the "G" word. The feeling I never wanna be preoccupied with. The feeling I relinquish. The feeling I deny. The feeling that irks me a lot.
Am ugly at saying 'Goodbyes'.
I always ignore saying it.
What happens when someone goes, and you don't know how long you'll have to wait for them?
What happens when deep down you know, its gonna be another 'long while' to see one glimpse?
What should I do? What should I say?
The regulars, bye, take care, have fun, have a happy journey and all?
I brush off saying these. Alas! The feeling I posses, can't be moulded into words, sentences, frames.
For a glee person like me, I am used to getting 'used to' to people/things.
I cant even let go off the 'things', not to forget. I still seize the first friendship band I got in 2nd standard, the boxes of chocolates I get, the dried up roses in middle of old books. No matter they get dusted pretty well, I feel secured in heart. Surely, its even harder to say Goodbyes to people. People maybe friends, neighbors, teachers, classmates, friends of friends and what not.
Especially if they are going somewhere where you know the regular hellos would get lessened. The bona fide pokes would disappear. When you would long for a cup of coffer or the messages on phone.

In that case, all I would do is get & give a bear hug, say bye and leave. Somewhere, at the back of the mind, there are a million things I wanna say, but they just get sealed with a smile on the lips and wrapped with an invisible tear in the eye.
Afterall, The Goodbye isn't too Good. 

A New Day Has Come

A New Day. Filling rays of hope in the eyes. 

It just happened. I woke up today, in the morning and forgot what, why, and how I was upset yesterday. A fact: You reckon not to forget things which went in your mind the previous night, in case left incomplete. How did I forget it then? The new day, the new morning, the new ray of hope, the window besides my bed which appears newer each morning, refreshes me up. Am sure it does spreads its magic on everyone. Each night, when I remember what I did in the day, which I make sure I do (after all a summary is needed), whether its good or not,  it follows the next morning too. Most of the nights, am left agitated, that I didn't complete the tasks I was supposed to do, as a matter of fact the things are postponed to the next day.
In that case, I look up to the next day. Not just the clock to struck 12. I make sure I sleep soon. Instead of discussing the things with people, I make sure I sleep. Cos the new day brings new hopes. I know I've got new chances to make the things move in the right direction.
The new glistening morning is only to try once more, in some different manner, to start afresh. No matter how bad, guilty, remorse, embarrassed, or what so ever I feel, I must try again. Give an ear to an enthusiastic song,  I am sure everyone has their own, (for each event) and aim for the bullseye again. Life gives you opportunities, till you keep faith."Faith"- a word more bigger in size and shape than Trust  & Hope. I make sure, I have faith in me the most. I make sure I want to try again. Having being fallen like a thousand times, I make sure I stand up again.

So, for now, the girl who left music 3 years back, is gonna hold it again. Cos if she doesn't try it, she'll regret it one day in life. She knows, "Its better late then never".
Its okay, people have rejected you, your belief system has been broken down and other people are better than you. At that time, I always remember what what my dad taught me, "There is no lock without a key, as there is no problem with a solution, just that only 'you' can find its solution, others can only guide you, but the path 'you' take will make all that matters. You can make a good future, or better, make a good history to share".
So which path to take? That's completely up to you. But, not to worry until you have faith. After all. you are the Michelangelo of your life. You can paint it in any way you want to.

At the end, "Life isn't about buying a second car or a second house. Its about second chances and second comings".

So start afresh!
Here is my song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaGLVS5b_ZY&ob=av2e

Confessions of a Shopaholic???

It happened last Monday. Me, Samvita and Varuna were on our way to watch Delhi Belly (me for the second time) in English of course, for our loath for dubbing cannot be buried in sand. We were too early for the movie, cos of my obnoxious planning. We decided to take a walk down the Pacific Mall. The awesome mall is a mark of high quality I must say. Having seen like a hundred brands (which weren't new to our eyes), we decided to shop. Not literally shop; window shop is a better term.We, love window shopping as we are most of the times left with such option at heavy brands. (Heavy not by weight, but by price). The lights at the showrooms were shut (it was just 9:15am when we reached), but we were able to see everything! Yes, that's a quality only we possess.
"I wish I could just pause the moment for a long time and steal away everything", Samvita says intaking a heavy breath looking at Da Milano.
And then I remember, how once at Lajpat she grabbed a bag, staring at it, she started shouting, "Aavika am buying this, Aavika am buying this". Her breath almost stopped and she; hafting. Literally, hafting. Her eyes growing bigger, the size I only get to see during shopping. When I gazed at her and said, "Samvita come back to your senses". She drops the bag. "I'll wait outside", she said while she moved out. She becomes claustrophobic. I hauled cos buying that bag for no reason would have disturbed the budget (which anyway, she never sets. She knows it'll be destroyed anyhow).
"I just want fifty thousand bucks, which isn't too much, to just shop here", I say with a glory in my voice. The glory I've been familiar with since ages. The glory of being a  "Shopaholic".
Followed by our high salaries (expected in future) we keep coloring our dreams even more.
Varuna just laughs at our dreams, for she has even the same.
Coming to Varuna, she shops ninety percent with me. She, too, is a typical shopper. She takes five hours and comes with only one single top. With her evil smile, she gets it billed. Yes, I have witnessed that evil smile. As if coming from winning some battle!

Yes, we are girls. Yes, we dream for bags, foot wears, watches, accessories, clothes and everything all over the world. Yes, we all are shopaholics. The girl isn't a girl until she is a shopaholic, I believe.
Finally after the movie, we decided to shop. Yes, the best part of the day. We three are the typical shoppers. We shop with insanity. Lifestyle at Pacific has raised its bar of quality, I must say. Amidst in the clothes and accessories. Good decision of shifting from Lifestyle at Rajouri. We'd spent two hours there, tried like over twenty tops on & on, we didnt buy anything. Yes, we are obsessed with quality (followed by price tags which cannot be ignored). Also, I always face size troubles, which doesn't affects me now.
All I know about my profile, is an important point of being a shopaholic. Highly obsessed. (The sale season gives me more hope).

I can shop anywhere & everywhere. Most of the people take me as a companion with them, in reverse am always bribed with burgers and ice creams. None-the-less, I never say a no. (Sometimes I do, due to tight schedule). I have shopped with and for school friends, college friends, friends of friends, friend's bf, bf's friends, bf's family, bf's friend's gf, my sis' bf, friend's elder sis' marriage (even chosen bridal wear for two), her gonna be family, my family, their friends, even for unknowns. I for myself, can shop alone, but a company always matters for a nice opinion. They just take me along!
The hint that I offer them every time is, look at the cloth, ask yourself, "is this me?'', if yes, buy it. If no, grab something else and repeat the procedure.
Be, it Khan Market, Lajpat Nagar, Hauz Khas, Subhash Nagar, Chandani Chowk and what not! Name it and I've been there. Name it and I've shopped there.
Besides I can shop for bedsheets, crockeries, mum's sarees, dad's formals, and everything. Even the tiles are selected by me for the renovation. And so is the kitchen's slab. My mum, doesn't even buy a cup without my opinion. "You are a smart shopper", says my mum carried with higher pride than mine. When it comes to my sis, she doesn't even buy a top without my assessment.
Even though, it has happened that given over ten tops, I'll only select two. For am a typical shopper. I always have a budget which shall never be shaken.
A few times, I shop to make my mood good, too.
Am proud of this quality of mine!

At the end of the day,  I bought only three tops (sigh), watched movie, ate, on & on in just nine hundred bucks!
Nobody would believe that!
Huhh!! Girl Power!

Te amo

A glint of hope in the field of poetry. My first ever poem (that too in Hindi). Came out in just flat fifteen minutes in yester night. Trust me, the mind works at triple pace at nights. That too when you miss someone's presence, no wonder if its some being in your life or its you who feel buried deep down within in the depths of mystical feelings. Its a remarkable production of my illusionary mind. Ergo, when you lose yourself, in my case, some artistry arises, in the shape of writings or paintings. For the first time its molded in the form of a poem. Here I go.



Kuch ho na ho
par tum zaroor pass ho
Ek ajeeb sa ehsaas
Ehsaas jo sirf tumse hi ata hai
Tumhara ek baar chu jana pyaar se
Wo muskurana pyaar se
Wo hath pakadna aur bas keh dena 'sab theek ho jayega'
Wo ghanto tak takti mujhe nigahein tumhari
Wo halaki si nami un aankho mein
Wo khamoshi si tumhari baaton mein
Wo justju tumhari, wo masumiyat tumhari
Wo saamne saamne has dena tumhara
Aur mere jate hi kone mein wo ro dena tumhara
Wo barsaat ki kuch yaadein
Wo kuch ladaiyan
Aur harr ladai ke baad gale lagana tumhara
Tumhara wo hath pakadkar khali sadak pe sath dena
Tumhara chup chap mere liye sab sehte jana
Wo tumara mere liye duniya se ladd jana
Shayad hai ye bachpana hi tumhara
Par sach ye hai tumhare bachpane ne hi seencha hai mujhe
Shayad tum sagar ho muhobbat ka
Par sach ye hai doobne main mujhe bhi aaram milega
Shayad tum samjhoge nahi mera pyaar
Par sach ye hai main bhi nahi samajh paungi tumhari chahat ko
Shayad sath hamara zindagi bhar nahi rahega
Par sach hai tumhara aasra zaruur rahega

Shayad ye sab tumhe hi aata hai

Par sach hai sab sirf aur sirf tumhara hi hai

Shayad tum ro doge khushi ke aansu ye padhkar
Par sach ye hai sab sirf tumhari wo halaki si muskaan pane ke liye kiya
Yaad hai jab maine tumse kaha tha
'Kaash hum rahein sath hamesha'
Aur tumne mujhpe nigahein gadate huye kaha tha
'Ye kaash hi toh hai jo harr waqt tarsaata hai mujhe, 
Kaash ye kaash na hota toh aaj main thoda jee liya hota'....


Darr dono ko hi hai bahut
par parvaah mujhe nahi
Kyunki ye baat ab dil-o-dimaag mein utar chuki hai
Kuch aur ho na ho
par tum zaroor pass ho
Kuch aur ho na ho
par tum zaroor sath ho.....