Completely Naive..:)

The whole year passes by, I, pretending always how grown up I am. Like how coolly I can just do everything: Shopping, billing, and blah blah. Just it happened on the morning of 14th Novemeber, when just as the ritual, my dad gave money to my younger brother (who is 14 going to 15) to spend on 'Children's Day'. I, envious even asked for mine. Not just the money I demanded, but 'a right to be a child again' was what I wanted. My dad gave me none. Why? Cos 4 months to go, am gonna be 19.
Depressed, I return back to looking-in-the-mirror-while-brushing. How lame! I say while I bang my brush on the basin. Off to college in the metro, I still dreamed of a few years back, when even I celebrated at school (even buying a spring roll with friends at canteen was a celebration).

The wondrous years passed by, and never had I thought they would pass too soon. Playing whole day, no one to scold. I was the winner of all the games, which comprised of Stappu, gallery, hide n seek and many more. Swinging on the swings, swinging the highest, we always tried to touch the top bar of a tree behind, tremendously while swinging. Bob cut, open, air rushing through them while swinging. How amazing those days were. And I ruled the world, the gang leader I was, in my 3-6th standard school time. Just a few days back it was when I learned to ride a bike with my oldest of oldest friend- Deeksha. Falling down at every paddle, still she pushing me to try again. No heartbreak warfares. No fights, discrimination. Asking for a glass of water after every half an hour of playing from 'Ground floor wali auntie', we used to call. The skipping rope, my record for 117 skips non-stop. Dare would anyone break it. The rolling skates. The dolls. The kitchen set. The daddy's shoulder. The parent's scolds. Going to the school with a water bottle around the neck. Singing the nursery poems with actions. No matter what, I still have maintained the favorite hobby: Fighting with my brother almost daily, pulling my dad's cheek daily and pissing off my sister, again, daily. Watching cartoons is still in my daily catalogue.

So, where did those days go? True- Day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different. 
And so, arrives Dhaula Kuan Station, I get down. A 15 minutes walk from childhood to adulthood. From school to college.
The day passes just as I superficially wished all "Happy Children's Day". Home back, the celebration starts. Shahi paneer made at home (in which the paneer slicing was done by me, proud) followed by an ice cream. And so, as rightly said by dad-"No matter how much you all grow, you will still and always remain kids for us". (I glanced if that meant for my almost 22 years sis) Relief!

"Some people do not become adult. They just remain childlike ever-green, and luckily, you are one of them", says my mum to me.

Somewhere, we have the infant in us. Let it come out, for a child cannot be caged.
Happy Children's Day to all!

Admiration

I performed the sacrament that evening. Making a red Swastika at two corners of it. While remembering Him, we ignited it. We just performed the holy rituals of being Indian. On the contrary, here it stands for the Sunflame Mirror Relfecto Gas with three gas stoves which replaced our previous one which stood at the same spot for 22 years or so. "May it serve with us with food and never withhold us with hunger", would say my dad, for he is a believer of God in true terms. Isn't it wonderful to be born in this land of God?Its not just about the Stove of course! We all do it even on buying an AC, or a LCD, a car, a bike, a scooty, computer (the Swastika is still here at one of the edge of my computer), laptop and what not. All the things that make our lives simpler are worshiped here. No matter which God we all worship, but we ensure we do, in happiness, in struggle, in vein, in regret. How often we remember Him, is not a matter, rather how often we thank him is the matter.

"India is the only country which has over 300 crore Gods for which we are in Guinness Book of World Records", would say my dad with proud, transferring his proud in me. "Yes, we worship everything for plants to rivers to trees to stones to soil to animals to everything", he continued. I would keep it as 'superstition' in my mind long back. But, not now. I have grown seeing His presence in many things & people. For those who haven't witnessed Him, I wish they would do it soon, so that they know the real meaning of life.
I remember lighting up a diya in front of our scooty and car each year at Diwali. Never had I asked why we do it. Earlier I did it just cos dad had asked me to. Now, I know why I do it. At festivals however, even those who do not worship daily are filled with His vicinity completely in & out.
This happens only here. Here in the land of God. His ubiety in almost all the living as well as non-living things. We all worship the birth of Him, the return of Him, the marriage of Him, the victory of Him. Who knows when and where did this all betide. It was manifested long back. We all grow up and forget and move over the things from childhood to adulthood. But, dare we forget one thing- His emanation.
So, I ensure, I "Thank God for everything in life" daily. Whether at College (for we belong to & study at God's own residence) or at evening at home-temple (as I would say). For everything that was, is, and will be, is a gift and celebration of Him.
Yes, we belong to the land of vivacity, to the country of unity between thousands and crores of worshipers. And so, His fraction of soul resides among us all.

A woman prays on Chhat pujan

Amen

The "Sound"

I just started as a sort of awakening five-six years back when the tunes touched by soul. So deep, that it enlightened me just by means of strings, no words required. Pathetically, I used to listen his reyas in morning at 6 am. Not to be hypothetical now, he is a 45-50 years old man. And the stairs moved as like in Hogwards, from the floor of westernized music to Indian rooted one.
For now, its hard for me to see, the tabla being exchanged by a drum, the sitar & tanpura by guitars of different styles, harmonium by piano and flute by saxophone. An infamous saying- "One must learn to transform with the world". However the auxiliary standpoint is -"One the contrary, one must even learn to hold the roots".
Duly, I would dig up into 90's songs. {Correction: The 'awesome' 90's songs). It just made me more barmy. Admitted into my board of interest, was Kailash Kher. Being an admirer of his "Teri Deewani" which's video was launched in 2004. The music which turned the wave of music into a very requisite & jeopardized manner. This song is like a drug to me which I cannot do without. And yes, I sleep only once my mind and soul swims into this song, satisfactorily.
More than that, what would thrill me was an instrumental music, filled with chords, even more than any song. The best thesis which I found were on a violin, which a girl in my society agreed to play it for me, daily. Exclusively, Ode to Joy- Beethovan & My blue Shoe- Bishop
And the chords on piano, always awestruck me! I somehow learned to play the stanza of My Immortal- Evanescence & Where'd you go- Fort minor, which am sure even a 5th standard child can play.
Then comes another - A flute. My brother knows to play it, so I would haul him occasionally and get something out of that wooden piece. However, the flute at the background of Teri Deewani catches my ear more often than the lyrics.  My best were many pieces from Pandit Hariprasad Chaurasiya and the omnipresent- Ustaad Bismillah Khan ji. How eagerly I used to ask my father to bring him play at my future wedding.

The blend is here though, The Deewarists- "Musicians led by passion embark on a journey to discover places, inspire change, explore sound, collaborate .. in a search of a song.. Because some things are just worth doing"- The say.
Star World
Sundays
8pm

Must watch! 

The Bond That Matters

Bhaiyadooj- not just another day for me cos the day emphasis on building the bond as strong as iron. Am not being too familial though, but a few bonds happen only twice a year: one at Rakshabandhan and another at Bhaiyadooj. Although I have a younger brother (who is taller than me) still leaves me craving to meet two more close brothers to me, who hypothetically meet me barely a few times a year.
Vaguely, the day starts at meeting of all: masi, mami, all the didis and the bhaiyas and the little sons & daughters of one of them. And then, starts the moment we all await for since a year. The women talk, the girlish snobbish, the marriage talks of the elder bhaiya and didis and the love stories of younger ones, the romantic talks of the ones already married, the shopping & movie buzzes and the school talks of little ones filled with laughter that goes on & on for hours at a stretch. We discuss it all. Sitting on the couch that stays at my ancestors home at Gurgaon since my mum was in 5th standard surrounded by captured glimpses of the then brothers and sisters with nana and nani ji; usually blurred cos of the decrepit photography technology. Filled with vivaciousness exchanges of sarees, suits & bed sheets for elder ones, and toys for little terrorists rushing the entire house on head. Isn't that great? I say to myself. We come to this place only twice a year and still, pretend as if we spend each moment together, bartering the moments of life.
When the time arrives for allowance, I mend my hair peeping into the versed mirror in which my mum once used to make two plates before leaving for college. After a long long time, we had to traverse through the local train for home, cos of the nonadjustable planing for car. A two rupee per head ticket was now in my jeans pocket. Mum, me, and bhai boarded the train as didi and bhaiya wave us an adios! Still hoping we would take more time form daily routines and plan to laugh again. Laugh so much which I hadn't since all past six months combined, taking out all the dullness of life.
I always thought, metro has given people a parallel view of local trains. I now descry I was so erroneous. The voice of moving trains is so diverging from the silent features of metro. The Ragini playing in someone's phone in train is so discrepant from the English hit songs in metro. The ascending horn of trains engine is so individual from the signal of metro. Like day like night. The twelve minutes ride of local train was so flushed with energy and made me stay grounded to Indianism.

After having many irons in the fire, I perilously longed for this October Month. I can sum it up as: The blood relations, the gifts, the beauty of India, the patent enjoyment, the decor and soul jinxed with culture.

Lights.. Camera.. Action!!!

The halcyon excuse just knocked the door. A day which made my lethargically filled soul run away.. as a matter of fact, just for a day. The deluxe home, the ambrosial ambiance, the  appetizing appetizers and all the things I cannot list out, made my Deepawali. It abnormally started with nothing and abnormally ending into so many jolly good times which I will write down in my page of history for sure.

Everything was hand made. The rangoli, the painting of diyas, the decor. Everything was love-made. The puja, the servings, the door garnishing. Alas! My favorite festival touched my heart. The festival I can sum up as: Shopping, flounces, feeding the tummy with all the sweet things on the planet, opening the gifts. In short, I feel its my second birthday! The same excitement, the same joy, the same divinity.

Kudos to the day, I got more Deepawali wishes than I receive on my birthday! All the unexpected people calling me up, and collecting texts in my bag only widened my pupils.

Ergo, its a day when we all forget our sorrows, our fights, our egos, not just for a day, rather it exhibits cruelity from our minds and give birth to toothsome relations. The adds of Coca Cola are truly amazing, "Toh is Diwali aap kise khush karenge?", is the one which is on my top charts. Many of it leaves my throat paining and administers me to think whom would I surprise this Diwali. The one more add which was launched on the idiot box was "Chalo is Diwali do diye hum bhi jalaye". What a short and crispy add it was. I believe all adds should be like one of these. Unfortunately, these will vanish our TV screens until next year.

Anyhow, another best part was, my third cracker free Diwali! Yesterday, lighting over fifty diyas & candles, it made me sink into the depths of thinking (nothing new). How many trees have I killed? How many animals have I harmed? How much have I contributed into the widening of the ozone hole?

On the counter-part, I didn't find any answers. As a matter of fact, I do have a positive side. 

"Its better late than never", as I always ensure, keeps me give away a huge sigh of relief. To boot, I now enjoy more with lights, decor & sweets than with crackers & pollution.

Minimal, I did it on my part and so made sure my family does the same. And yes, every year the burning of crackers has tremendously decreased, which entrusts me a beautiful dream of a first-class future. 

Me, sipping cold coffee, and writing this post, eagerly waits for another year, another second birthday, another Diwali, another heart full greetings, another step towards cracking the use of crackers. 

Eat. Pray. Love this Diwali!

It just happened yesterday, when my observing power brought me some adorable sites. I was on my way back home, from college, celebrating Deepwali with our teach the kids gang of Parivartan. My eyes saw many students with strollers and bags waiting for the buses, probably going back to their families- I smiled.

The lovely celebration at Parivartan with our kids. 

Just 10 minutes walk from dwarka metro station to home has always been fun, and the fun was more this time. All the markets- be it the Jewell shop, sweet shop, even the book shops were glittering with lights. The people all  over the place with at least carrying 2-3 gifts in their hands left me wondering what we might get this time. The cars stuck in traffic, a chaos created even in the parking lot, front of the shops was fun to witness. I saw every car's back seat were crowded with packed gifts. I took a left, on the footpath I saw a lady sitting with 4 packs of dry fruits, 6 packs of tropicana fruit juices and some more squares packed in golden gift rap, probably waiting for someone to come pick her up. And so, I saw my society- the gates decorated beautifully with blue lights and even the trees with colorful lights. "Who would tell these people, these lights harm the trees. The radiation does actually"- says my mum.

I reached home finally, with a smile ofcourse but tired too. Just when I witnessed my sister and mum in out-going clothes. "Are we supposed to wear good clothes today?", I asked her.
They planned to go to the market, to buy diyas and candles for the auspicious occasion. Tired, still, I managed to go with them. I didn't want to miss any glimpse of the festival- Simple.
Infamous sector 6 market, each corner seeming so glittery, had my eyes sparkling. None-the-less, it was Dhanteras- A festival pre-choti diwali, which leaves people buy some utensil.
We came back home with diyas, some utensils, pillow covers and ofcourse- The rangoli colors!!!
Today, at choti diwali, the home (which always seems clean and beautiful- my mum ensures that) seemed like heaven to me. The sofa & cushions had fresh and new covers, the beds had Gujarati and Handcrafted bed sheets on each. New flowers filled freshness to my place. And yes, the biggest showcase was my duty to re-decorate and re-clean (which I enthusiastically did). The day went with practicing rangoli making for the grand event! Also, exchange of gifts goes on and on in the background. The pooja is just done and the diyas are set, which were painted by me (makes my feel rejoiced to do that). At 8 pm, my dad reaches home with almost 20 gifts. The best thing, they are all packed. The fun activity to open them leaves my heart bowled over.
Some more bone chinas, some more dry fruits, some more mithais, some more crockery, etc etc.
But but!! the best gift, is a money maker wheel. Yeah! it lies in my room, as the wheel promotes progress! Will show it to all who come home, its beautiful!
For now, am going to get the mehendi on hands ( I always find ways to do it over and over again). The different thing though is, am doing it myself! (For the first time).
Wish me luck!
Have fun guys with family & friends.

No crackers! Just diyas. I bet it will make diwali more prosperous and peaceful. 

A New Day Has Come

A New Day. Filling rays of hope in the eyes. 

It just happened. I woke up today, in the morning and forgot what, why, and how I was upset yesterday. A fact: You reckon not to forget things which went in your mind the previous night, in case left incomplete. How did I forget it then? The new day, the new morning, the new ray of hope, the window besides my bed which appears newer each morning, refreshes me up. Am sure it does spreads its magic on everyone. Each night, when I remember what I did in the day, which I make sure I do (after all a summary is needed), whether its good or not,  it follows the next morning too. Most of the nights, am left agitated, that I didn't complete the tasks I was supposed to do, as a matter of fact the things are postponed to the next day.
In that case, I look up to the next day. Not just the clock to struck 12. I make sure I sleep soon. Instead of discussing the things with people, I make sure I sleep. Cos the new day brings new hopes. I know I've got new chances to make the things move in the right direction.
The new glistening morning is only to try once more, in some different manner, to start afresh. No matter how bad, guilty, remorse, embarrassed, or what so ever I feel, I must try again. Give an ear to an enthusiastic song,  I am sure everyone has their own, (for each event) and aim for the bullseye again. Life gives you opportunities, till you keep faith."Faith"- a word more bigger in size and shape than Trust  & Hope. I make sure, I have faith in me the most. I make sure I want to try again. Having being fallen like a thousand times, I make sure I stand up again.

So, for now, the girl who left music 3 years back, is gonna hold it again. Cos if she doesn't try it, she'll regret it one day in life. She knows, "Its better late then never".
Its okay, people have rejected you, your belief system has been broken down and other people are better than you. At that time, I always remember what what my dad taught me, "There is no lock without a key, as there is no problem with a solution, just that only 'you' can find its solution, others can only guide you, but the path 'you' take will make all that matters. You can make a good future, or better, make a good history to share".
So which path to take? That's completely up to you. But, not to worry until you have faith. After all. you are the Michelangelo of your life. You can paint it in any way you want to.

At the end, "Life isn't about buying a second car or a second house. Its about second chances and second comings".

So start afresh!
Here is my song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaGLVS5b_ZY&ob=av2e