Deep Thought

"A man would do nothing, if he waited until he could do it so well that no one would find fault with what he has done"
- Cardinal Newman

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Annoying 'G' word

Agonizing, annoying, bitter, hard, thorny, that's how I can describe the "G" word. The feeling I never wanna be preoccupied with. The feeling I relinquish. The feeling I deny. The feeling that irks me a lot.
Am ugly at saying 'Goodbyes'.
I always ignore saying it.
What happens when someone goes, and you don't know how long you'll have to wait for them?
What happens when deep down you know, its gonna be another 'long while' to see one glimpse?
What should I do? What should I say?
The regulars, bye, take care, have fun, have a happy journey and all?
I brush off saying these. Alas! The feeling I posses, can't be moulded into words, sentences, frames.
For a glee person like me, I am used to getting 'used to' to people/things.
I cant even let go off the 'things', not to forget. I still seize the first friendship band I got in 2nd standard, the boxes of chocolates I get, the dried up roses in middle of old books. No matter they get dusted pretty well, I feel secured in heart. Surely, its even harder to say Goodbyes to people. People maybe friends, neighbors, teachers, classmates, friends of friends and what not.
Especially if they are going somewhere where you know the regular hellos would get lessened. The bona fide pokes would disappear. When you would long for a cup of coffer or the messages on phone.
In that case, all I would do is get & give a bear hug, say bye and leave. Somewhere, at the back of the mind, there are a million things I wanna say, but they just get sealed with a smile on the lips and wrapped with an invisible tear in the eye.
Afterall, The Goodbye isn't too Good. 

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Caught in the Animation! :O

Vaguely, am completely into this movie am watching on sunday afternoon with biscuits or anything which I can replace with popcorn. How much does it matter if its animated? If its cartoon? The best movies I have seen are either on Disney (mostly) and a few on HBO or Star Movies. Consequently, Disney is the Godfather of animated movies. All I know about these ones are, they'll never let me down. They just make sure, the ending it perfect! These are the ones that gave birth to 'princess stories' and 'happy endings'. Even if they are the one with the dwarfs, or with an evil mother, an evil witch, or and handsome prince, speaking toys & cars, barbie dolls and all the princesses the world has ever known, not to forget speaking fishes too!
"The world is cruel outside. It will break you apart, or eat you alive", is this is what you are ever thinking, then its high time you turn your heads towards these. No matter how dumb, rejected, stupid, irritated you feel, Disney will make sure you completely have a different mind post the movie!
Maybe, it throws you in an imaginary world, but after all, Life is how you see it. Life is how you feel it. Life is what you make it.
Here are the ones that have ideologically won by heart, mind and soul:

The story of a little elephant with huge ears that looks abnormal to many,
and rejected by all, except his mother. He still following his dreams.

the original Alice  in Wonderland. How Life can itself be a 'dream'
Love saves Life. The movie rewarded with 'best Disney princess ever'
Awww!! Pooh! Our favorite bear in the world!  Animals too have heart!
Go outside your comfort level! Sometimes Life's worth a risk!

Love sees no money.

I sometimes still wonder, what my toys do at my back!!

Never give up on dreams! They are the best things one possess
Its never too late to follow your dream. Better late than never.

Until a man hasn't loved an animal, a part of him remains undiscovered

A shark, jelly fishes, whale or even humans come your way, dont ever give up on Hope!
You know you can still make it.
Love sees no face. It only sees heart. At the end, the feelings stay.
Remember, no lies!
If you have what it takes to risk everything to find the True Love, then  the magic
will always be on your side.
Fame is not everything. Love, friendship, Life is found beyond Fame.
No matter how hard it is to prove your worth, keep trying. After all, Adventure
is another name of Life

At last, the pure hearted and beautiful princesses.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Winter Memories

I love winters. This happens to be the best line to stat this post. The morning fog. The colored stoles. The beautiful caps. The cute gloves. The woolens. I happen to love it all. I happen to wear every color other than the usual blacks and browns in the winters.
I look a little fat in winters, that surely isnt the whole book about winters. I love them cos I get dreamy.
I write with my colorful gloves on. And I get lost. Get lost in the dreams of Life. Dreams of what my future would be. And I text him with my colorful gloves in middle of the morning 8:45 am class. I surely hate that class!
And I rest my head on the support made by elbows. The tiny gloves warm my cheeks. And I dream some more now with my face titled. And I stay like that until the bell rings.
Going back home, I saw a tiny cut sleeves jacket at Monte Carlo, a little costly it was. I remember how my mum used to make many such for me. How stupidly the factory 'things' have replaces mumma's 'Love'. I went back home and asked her to make more today itself.
"I am the designer, and you are the tailor.. oops! creator", I said to her.
She briskly refuses my proposal in a laughing tone. I tried convincing, even offered her a salary (Yeah, I haphazardly tried to bribe her) but couldn't. Even though I know the tiny flying threads gets into her mouth and the doctor asked her many years back, never to do it again.
"I'll bring you a mask, mumma", I said laughingly.
The winters were memorizing then, when she used to make tonnes of beautiful sweaters for me and my sister. The sweater with many colors used. Woven with hooks and many colorful beautiful gems looking buttons. The creative necks and collars. I remember how the aunties sitting under sun wiving for their little ones, would stop me from my plays and turn me all around and touch my sweaters and try to hack the woolen codes. They failed substantially.

L-R: Me, younger brother, elder sister, each in our woven sweaters.
The one I still carve for was a grey one, at the back of which, with yellow (my favorite) was written "AAVIKA". I loved it everyday. But, it happens that when you grow up a little, you are forced and supposed to give it to your younger ones. I loathed this ceremony. Instead, I did not get anything as good as I was giving. My heart sank. And sank with every sweater. With every pull over. And I never talk to those "stealing cousins". Today, I dont really know who would be wearing my AAVIKA sweater as my cousins have also grown up now. Hope wherever it is, its safe.
Nonetheless, I started making something, on a very little base however. I made a purple muffler for my barbie doll, which I knew I wont give it to anyone. Yes, I can make mufflers out of a woolen ball. Its not such a work! One day, I will make many for my mumma, for sure.
Happy Winters!!!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

The Story of 'Her' Life

I very clearly remember how I met her. In the train. Sitting opposite to my birth. Her mates offering her the vodka, she taking just a sip, asked me "Vodka?", happened to be her first word to me.
"I dont drink", I said
She gave away the drink. Smugged.
Thats where we met. Opposite upper births of train.
And thats how our rest of the night went, talking about which courses we do, ambitions we have, hobbies we keep, people we admire, songs we listen and so on.
We enjoyed the upcoming days together. It was destined we meet, thats what I can say.
Acquaintances we were.
Sadly, not all NSITians stay in touch. Surprisingly, all 'their' people usually sit on the same couch as mine.

Monali Sisodia
Studying in Swami Keshavanand Institute of Technology, Management and Gramothan.
And profoundly, studying in 3rd year when I met her.
An institute in Jaipur where she was to become a Scientist.

Or so, wasn't written.
"I dont wanna be a scientist yaar! Its getting over the head", suddenly a message shows up when I just reached home at evening from the depressing life of 1st year at college.
"Its okay! Maybe you are too sick of exams appearing", I replied
She called.
And in hassled way we talked.
She left it. Just before her exams appeared.
And completely changed her profile.

Monali Sisodia
Frameboxx Animation
An insitute in Mumbai where she is to become an animator.

God will always give you many ways to pick. You must pick what is best for you. For, He shall never pick on your behalf. Even when you think you've happened to have picked the wrong one, He shall rewind the time for you and bring you again the two paths. Maybe the same older ones. Or maybe the completely derived new ones. Nevertheless, He, surely will.

Doleful, we never got to spend enough time with each other. Blithe, she frequently calls and messages me the updates of her life.

Right now, she is about to complete her animation and do a splendind job in the same. With the annual function upcoming at her college, and height maybe 5"10 she is the showstopper of Fashion Show.
With a lovely pretty face she has, I dont know what they will make her fom the "Gothic" theme.

She, completely changed her Life. Took a decision that, she knew will compell her to transform the outlook of herself. Made her parents understand her priorities and grew completely as a beautiful butterfly out of a cocoon.
Moreover, she recenlty did a photoshoot of a model, as far as I remember.
"Toh kya hua khud model nahi ban sakti, photo toh le hi sakti hu", thats the message she'd sent me.

Dont know, when the time shall come and we meet. Do all the things we scheduled. But, the time shall come, I encourage myself .
Lionized into success. I wish she fills her cup with more of that with divine luck, faith, hardwork and beatitude.
Love will always flow from my side, I assure you.