Deep Thought

"A man would do nothing, if he waited until he could do it so well that no one would find fault with what he has done"
- Cardinal Newman

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Chapter 1: Mehfuz hu

Phase : I

She found the Love of her life.... or so she thought. Her handsome "Prince Charming", as she had imagined while growing up with fancy princesses of Disney stories. He was right in front of her. Tall, dashing, handsome, intelligent, cute. All that she admired.
Romancing with the Prince Charming
She was Jenny. Bold, beautiful, at the stroke of her women hood, witty, adorably admirable, the girl every guy out there would look up to, more like Michaelangelo's creation.. or so she thought.
What else could she have dreamed of?
But, after having heartbreak, like four times before, could she say yes? It was risking the life and emotions again.
"Stop it:", says her mind. "When will you come out of your fairy land? There is no so-called-PRINCE".
"Go on, take the risk. Who knows this is it?" says her heart.
Final verdict: She says "yes" in haste.
"Dammit", says her mind.
It seemed like a fairy land.. again. Prince and Jenny walking down the aisle one fine day.
"It's never gonna happen, you are the biggest dumbstruck ever on planet", says her mind.
"It will, it will. Let the magic work. And can't you see she's happy?" says her heart.
The feeling undefined
Each time she met the Prince, walking around, talking, chattering, sharing everything, her heart skipped a beat. And her mind, never missed a chance to take over.
Charmer Prince kept the love alive, sang songs for her, took her to the places she had never been to, dates, romance, everything went as she had seen in movies.
"Awww, how sweet:, says her heart.
"Stop your awws. This isn't something new. Watch your step and don't slip this time. When will you grow up? Come out of this dream. WAKE UP!", says her mind.
Despite this, fulminating the mind each time.
"If this is the dream, then its the most beautiful one. Never will I grow up", says Jenny. Overpowered by her heart each time.

Phase : II

Jenny rewinds what went wrong.
"He's broken me now, says her heart sadly.
"I told you, this is gonna happen", says her mind sharply.
"Does this means there is no Prince for me", says her heart.
"I hope this time, you have learnt a lesson and will grow up finally. It was never your so-called-Prince's fault. Live the real life",  says her mind.

Today, not even the Prince knows what happened. Maybe because Jenny gave implausible reasons and ran away.
She has now figured out the reason of this break-up though. The mind and heart were always pointing at two opposite poles. One night, when the moon was full, but the sky still seemed empty without the stars, she had known both moon and stars complete the picture. None can actually hang on alone. Same is with heart and mind. There and then, the mind broke away the handcuffs of heart and won the game. Ergo, Jenny left the Prince.

Does she still misses him?
Who knows?
But, she misses herself more as the most vital part of her has been plundered away: her heart and has imploded.
Jenny only has her mind left.
There are no two voices inside her now. Mind and heart fight no more... no clashes.
"Time shall heal", says her mind again and again. Not letting her fall for anyone.

"Tere hothon ke.. kisi kone mein.. hasi ki tarah main MEHFUZ HU....", says the Prince despicably.

She sits at the window of her home, which until yesterday was the window of her castle and thinks..

"Love is like a bird, if you hold it tight, it will die. And if you hold it light, it will fly". 

Jenny is still left to figure out one last thing: Whether she held it light or she held it tight. 


  1. WOW...its like d 1st chapter of a novel about d angst & fantasies of a girl...hw she's growing ol' wid experiences & heartbreaks & hw she handles thm....pretty cool
    suggestion,if u cn then cntinue d journey of this gal...her search for her dream guy ,her desires & hw she finally unites wid her true prince charming

  2. Dear Hardik,
    Thank you for the welcoming picture first of all. You are immensely blessed with that talent.
    Plus, I'll surely stick to your suggestion.
    Hang on to see what future holds for Jenny :)

  3. yo...waitin to explore her further journey :)

  4. Hey!
    Here I am at one command of yours, reading away a delightful peek in to the sort of confabulations all of us have with our heart and mind. Needlessly said, its a wonderfully crafted post, and most of the girls reading it would be able to relate to some or the other part of it. Personally, I love the quote at the end, I mean, the way you've concluded is quite nice.

    As from my side, I would just like to add, that uncertainties, skepticism, doubts...they are a part and parcel of all of our lives. But whether we submit to them, or dispel them-this is what separates an average person from an excellent one.

    Brilliantly written. Keep it up!
    And I will always be an avid reader :)

  5. Dear Saumya di,
    Thank you for the joyous compliments.
    Even I like the way you ended your comment.
    Will keep the difference between "average" and "excellent" in mind.

  6. OMG.. it is amazin... i sooo luved it.. n its actually vry true.. n i truly agree wid ur line "Love is like a bird, if you hold it tight, it will die. And if you hold it light, it will fly". most of d tyms 1 doesnt undrstand nly whedr love is held tightly or loosely..

  7. @Meenakshi:
    Thank you for the comment.
    And yes, people who understand this issue, only have a successful Love Life.
    For instance: You