Deep Thought

"A man would do nothing, if he waited until he could do it so well that no one would find fault with what he has done"
- Cardinal Newman

Sunday, December 25, 2011

And I... will always Love You

They could hear the footsteps arriving closer.
"Everything's with you?", he asked her.
"Yeah!", she said haphazardly. More in agility, checking her pockets that her phone and wallet resides in place.
"And me?", he asked.
She looked at him. Those eyes of recklessness. Those eyes of fondness of her. Those eyes brimmed with emotions for her. Those eyes of prolong, abide dreams of clenching her in everlasting bonds of intimacy. Those eyes of what they call- LOVE.
She looked up, hands still in pockets, hair just falling hastily on her eyes and ran into him.
Every time she would hug him, she knew her heart was never filled.
The footsteps were close. He had to let go. But she couldn't. Yet, the Love had to be sustainable, to be left for future.  They glanced at each other, with eyes desperate to fall into each other.. again .. and again.
"I Love you", she said brashly.
"I Love you more than you do", he said softly.
She turned & smiled innocently, "that's true".
She ran from fear. Fear of having caught by eyes other than his'. Fear of the world to know what they mean to each other. Fear of not being accepted by the world.
She knew he was watching her. Indeed with no time to take a flash of his beautiful eyes, she absconded, for she knew the time will give her more.
For him, it was more piercing. For he, waits for the right time to arrive and secure her keeping the world at stake. The time when they would fear eyes of none. The time when they would fear the footsteps of none. The time... shall come, he promises.
And yet, she only breathes on that promise.

If I should stay, 
I would only be in your way. 
So I'll go, but I know 
I'll think of you ev'ry step of the way. 

And I will always love you. 
I will always love you. 
You, my darling you. Hmm. 

Bittersweet memories 
that is all I'm taking with me. 
So, goodbye. Please, don't cry. 
We both know I'm not what you, you need. 

And I will always love you. 
I will always love you. 

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Its better late then never...

Finally, feels like its been ages since I've gotten down to blogging. The exams ate my mind & time up. Having so many fishes to fry, I couldn't think of anything. Though, the cake didn't bake very nicely with many complicated issues to be followed. After giving the final exam, trust me, I didn't feel like they are over. Neither was I filled with over the brim excitement and relief. Relief is just a term that arrives if your exams went good. Mine, just the beginning two were good. Rest. Just flowed like a landslide. Not just I had to give my one compartment exam (which again didn't go so good), I had to give another one of the crankiest exam the very next day (which gave me a severe depression) which lead to more of the blahs. Then, I lost my wallet somewhere, which not only had enough money which I was saving, but also my college ID card and driving license. Anyhow, this blog isn't about again feeling the ennui.
So, yesterday I told my parents what my influenza was. They gave all their ears to my issues. Ears which I got from none. It felt good, relieved to let them know. Yes, my issues were something which many people have. Obviously, I understand 90% of what is being fed in the class. But, somewhere when it comes to exams, I do not perform that well. These were the points I figured out:
* Gazing at the question paper, I realize I have read all this & that. So it should go good. But, while crossing half the bridge, I can't carry the rest. Its because I study only during exams, which mixes the things. Then, I don't know which way to go. Rather, its important to do some daily studying. 'Some' is also 'enough'. After all, each drop of water makes the ocean.

*The positive aura is also important. Which only comes with love and peacefulness. If one has these, the concentration becomes stronger.

*Another thing which made my wine fell over the glass was my sleep. I crucified it badly. Waking up till 3, 4, 5 in the morning only gave me less time. 'Less time' for my brain to take rest and store the data. Thanks Aditya for that future tip. Also, if one wants to do that, he shall do it daily. 'Daily' studying till this hour of the morning so that the brain becomes addict for this level- Dad said. Which, does not happens to be my bite of apple.

*Even friends matter for support. The college which I belong to, happens to be one where people will look at you with lowered eyes if you do not score 65-70%. Thats what I said to mum, that people don't talk to me nicely when it comes to studies. She just said this "You are what you think you are. If people think you are not good in some field and even you think the same, then you are not. But if you think you are good, then let people blabber".

Isn't this amazing how parents advice you so nicely. Even if you are a failure or a topper or some average person, you are a star for them. My parents are my last shot of grasping hope, and they never have, never will fail me for that. Just that you need to share things with them. If they do not ask you about your studies, its because you never tell them anything. But if you want to some day open that door for them, you'll see them standing there waiting for you to let them in. Not just one of the parents, you'll find them both. It gives a break actually. But just tell them before they start expecting, thats the trick. Its like, you come home giving the worse exam and they smilingly ask you how was it. And you are blank. So, just tell the, before they ask you. Not just about exams, about everything.
Friends, spouse, people, only happen to give you one or two or three chances, but they give you million. Thats because they trust you, since birth.
"Its okay! Its just a third semester, you still have three more. You are just half way. Now you know where you need to work, you will do better." Mum said.
Last but not the least, Thanks Nitti. You were a huge pillar of support during exams. Not just one or two exams, but every.
So, I happened to share with parents, and they let me breathe again. They let my doomed ship fly again. Am letting go off what happened this semester, with many new tips occurring in my head, I'll pay off confidently in the next one.
Finally, a nice cherry is on the roasted cake. "A good ending, makes everything good".
Solace. Succor. Sustenance.