Deep Thought

"A man would do nothing, if he waited until he could do it so well that no one would find fault with what he has done"
- Cardinal Newman

Monday, July 8, 2013

PART III : Eternal Halt

-Pieces of a Diary

Pg 1689

I am out of clue what is happening. He's been to another work tour but was supposed to return yesterday by flight. Its raining exuberantly since previous night everywhere. With no network to access and failing television antennas, all my faith in Almighty is rolling down. Each striking thunder breaks my comfort to our son and his enormous wails breaks me. I have never got this feeling ever- of losing him. What if the flight... I quickly do that thought aside. 

We got married in the little backyard wedding having only a few people present. We love cutting out from the world. I was in a peach white shouldered gown with no gown-tail and he was in the favorite blue-ink tuxedo. The backyard was covered in white lilies, purple orchids which only grow to the fullest in two months a year in heavy spring. That is the best time to make someone yours; with nature supporting. 

The thunder is too hard and avoiding me to dwell in my thoughts ushering me back to present. I can't wait too long. I must do something, get to the airport at least and check the flight arriving myself. I admit it today, I've always wished his work tours would end. I am leaving our son with the neighbors till I get back, hopefully with him.

24 years later:

Son: "So mother was beautiful right? I think even photos could not do justice to her beauty".
Father: "Thats because she was beautiful inside out. I wish she'd not have left the house that day".
Son: "And she wished you would leave your work tours- so says her diary".
Father: "If only she'd tell me...."
Son: "Its okay dad. I guess even I shouldn't have wailed that night, that only made everything worse [chuckles]. But there's nothing we can do".
Father: "I need some time alone, son". [sitting on the chair in dining hall]
Son: "I understand".
Father: "Why did you leave? My flight got delayed and with no phone access anywhere, I couldn't reach you. I got back the next day and the neighbors told you'd left for the airport the previous night. You know I checked the entire airport for you but the surveillance camera showed you did not come there. I checked the entire town and found no trace of you. For two days I was in our home, expecting you'd come anytime.. for me.. for our son. You never came. After four days, police found parts of our old chevy in forest. Probably hit by a tree, the car had fallen into a deep trench. You knew that was a bad shortcut to take to airport, you always told me the same."
"You know I love you and our son loves you a lot. He keeps admiring your beauty. This home is still refreshed with your remembrances. You will watch me grow old from heavens above, I wish I'd see you growing old too". He says holding their wedding picture in hand. The wall is filled with pictures, he looks up. Its been 24 years since she's gone and this time- he's counting the years. 


  1. its poignant,its wonderful & surely a great attempt My Rowlings dear.
    hats off to your creative story-telling entwined with plethora of emotions.

    just a thing,at the end,all that description about how she dies, it feels the story is totally know,i just wonder what kind of feelings would i have been left in the end if you would have left it in a poignant suspense??

    suppose like..."I searched you everywhere that dreadful day, even asked each & every single passersby & not even one did see you, except for that man who claimed that he witnessed a car slipping from road & going straight in the gushing river which eventually vanished within seconds with the forceful flow of that fierce river that it had become that day, but yet, i refuse to believe that it was you, you can't just vanish from our lives just like that."
    "I dream sometimes that you lost your way somewhere in the middle of that night, but eventually you find the right way & your feet marching softly towards our home, I approach the door to receive you,embrace you,kiss you & whenever i have tried opening the door, i use to wake up slowly from that dream, may be,in a hope that someday soon i'll really see you standing in front of me......."

    you know, u must hv got the idea idea by my half baked attempt (not even near ur perfection,i know,haha), but thats the thing i feel, this suspense,yet a sense of completion will really make your stories stand apart.

    So i would say this was near perfect, the masterpiece is still in the making & you are more than half way towards that now ;)
    just keep going, i am behind you always :)

    1. @Hardik

      I must say this comment is equal to 10 comments, not just by length but by heart and quality you've put into this comment! Its more like guidance coming from you which I always embrace!

      And I think short stories are my forte now, which thanks to you who made me discover it. Its a treasure I want to keep with me forever.

      Oh! and coming on to what you've written! The sequential part which you have depicted is a ten times better than me- both in style of writing and expression, feelings and imprint. I could not even think of writing this way! Really! It brought me sheer happiness because it reflects how much connected to the characters of "Diary" you were. And how you wanted to bring them justice. Am sorry I killed the main protagonist though :P

      But then, also I personally wanted to bring a sense of closure to the death- like its over. I am really thankful to this comment, really. And am looking forward to such more & more!
      If there was an award for the best reader+critic+motivator- it will go to you! Definitely! :)
      Thanks again Hardik!

    2. Haha
      Smday wen u'l get an award,i'l receive mine as well :)
      Keep it up,keep going

    3. @Hardik
      hahah! award! Thats real far away thought! :P But yeah, I shall at write a bunch of short stories! :D