The Color of Blissfulness!

The yellow mustard farms

I very well bear in mind, the first time I was exposed to colors. When my parents taught me the primary colors: Blue, Red, Yellow. And I would scream "Yellow" all the time, everywhere. I would always pick the yellow token in ludo, snake and ladders. I would start coloring any picture with yellow first. I would go for shopping for school bag, water bottles, clothes and ask every shopkeeper, "ye yellow mein dikhao". I would love the yellow flowers at first: the yellow rose, the yellow mustard flowers. "Dekho kitni duur tak yellow hai", I would scream looking at mustard farm at village. The trend is going on since I was 2 and a half years.
I still scream "Yellow!!!" looking at the autos, the school buses, the road signals, the lights leaving all the people around me starring in amazement. Its simply my Love for this color.
Wonder what in this color has drowned me completely into it?

Yellow flowers completes the nature

Ask me what I see in this color?
Ask my why only this color? Why not something else?
The only answer I come up is:
"Yellow" for me means, bliss, cheer, delight, ecstatic, glee, liveliness, vivacity, rejoice, laughter, playfulness, joy, jubilation, optimism, laughter and a lot many feelings!
Yellow=Me
It makes me happy! The more number of things I see in yellow the entire day, I believe my day will be more good spirited. It just increases my luckiness and charm.
Another thing about yellow, which we all notice: the lights. The lamps are empty without yellow. The street lights would be of no use without yellow. Fireflies are abandoned without yellow. The diwali diyas, the autumn leaves, the flames, the crackers, everything is bare without yellow.

Just when the sunlight enters the room, every little details in the life blooms!

Also, the Sunshine is yellow. It means beginning of the new day, new hopes, new opportunities. When the sunlight explodes through my window panes, I feel like starring it at till it disappears. When the sunlight makes wonderful patters in my house, it gives me peace of mind. When the sunlight explodes from the leaves, I feel like a part of dark, horror, gloomy part inside me has vanished.
I crave for the yellow kurtis, yellow slippers, yellow clips, yellow rubber bands, yellow tops, yellow towels, yellow paint... in short everything yellow.

Yellow sunshine adds pleasure to the frame of Life

"After every dark, stormy, chilled night comes a bright, blissful, summery, Yellow morning"!

Another season ends

"The ending is a new beginning", they say quite often. Or so, I thought.
Last week, I went to the last wedding of this so-called Marriage Season. The Indian Marriage.
Wherein, the women in backless blouses, net sarees. Somewhere exposing backs, or somewhere big fat bellies. Talking about their in-laws. Rather, bitching. Hopping around at every food stall and pushing everything in their mouths, as if never seen a lot. As a matter of fact, everyone does that. Girls stalking guys. Guys stalking girls. Offsprings jumping at every place possible. Women just enviously gazing at each other's jewellery and attire. And men, what to say.
Well, this post isn't about blabbering and bitching, its more about the big fat Indian Weddings. Each marriage now has a corner separate for pictures and a photographer appointed for the same. Not everyone knows the couple much, but for sure all will go up the stage and get the pictures done with the couple. Along with lots of zooming and unnatural poses, I say the photographers are the best things to happen at the wedding. The deejey ofcourse isn't bothered. And so are the chefs. However, all the tables do have plenty to fresh flowers, which I ensure atleast a bouquet is stolen by me at every wedding.
And yes! The brides ofcourse! are bothered more for giving good poses, she knows the pictures will go on facebook. Agreed, the time has changed!
The winter winds starts immensely at around 12 midnight or so. As yet, no girl will show they are dieing in net sarees with backless blouses. If they say, the parents will adamantly say "told you so". Rather, they pretend its a summer breeze. Funny! Yes, for sure, Indian marriages are the best thing to occur. The food is free and so is the sight seeing. Comeon! At most of them, I dont even know who is marrying whom. Never-the-less, I do know which stalls were there!

Waiting for next marriage season to arrive soon. 

Northern Lights

I know someone.. someone whom I don't wanna know further. Did she do something wrong? Did she do something which I didn't find right? The questions will always be left unanswered. I broke the thread between us. Most of all, I never want to talk.

Part-1

They were in what we call "LOVE". For last five years. They were profoundly each other's firsts. They cuddled. They hugged. They smiled. The LOVE always brewed up in every cliche of eye sights of theirs. All was kept a secret. The relation, the emotion, the heart mold into thousand expressions. The perfection, is what they were. 

Part-2

"This is it", it was said and done. 

But what happened? Between them? And between me and her? 

First, they parted ways, cos he was supposed to marry soon to someone else. 

Are we supposed to find Love according to age, colour, religion, region? Does Love can behold into these anonymity? Into these artifacts? Into these priorities set by world? Can Love be caught with hands, torn like paper, burn in fire, kept rotten into the deep earths, easily erased like waves of ocean does to its shores, or can be picked and thrown like a flower. It burns my soul when I see great Love Stories ending. Love isn't supposed to end. It just goes on even after death.

Is Love destroyed too easily? 

Second, maybe, she is too strong to let go. Maybe they already knew this is how the things would end. Maybe she knew they must live according to the choices of people around. And her presence, does not make me feel strong, rather pinches me every second. Not relieving the pain, rather injure me. Injures my Love. 

Will my Love end this way? Will the world pick on mind too? Will my ending time come too? Am I as strong as her? Am I ready to face the world? Am I ready to give away easily, watching the world chose, what they feel is 'better' for him. Will I let go too easily? 

Every second she crosses my mind, I compare. I compare what she is living, and what for I am living. I compare her present with my future. I compare her power with my weakness.

Can I let go him, as she did? 

Am I supposed to Love with the fear he might go one day? 

I am afraid to see, now, what the future holds. 

Northern Lights(Norway) - My dream place with him.

Every time I close my eyes I can touch the colors around meSuddenly I realize everything I thought was impossible is hereAnd my heart sings in a world so incredibleAnd everything burns much brighter
I (I) want to fly (fly) into this beautiful life I think it'd be nice with youI want to fly (fly) into this beautiful life I think it'd be nice with you, with you, with you, with you
"Its all about you and me. It was all about you and me. It will be all about you and me"- Him

My hands feel complete with yours

Annoying 'G' word

Agonizing, annoying, bitter, hard, thorny, that's how I can describe the "G" word. The feeling I never wanna be preoccupied with. The feeling I relinquish. The feeling I deny. The feeling that irks me a lot.
Am ugly at saying 'Goodbyes'.
I always ignore saying it.
What happens when someone goes, and you don't know how long you'll have to wait for them?
What happens when deep down you know, its gonna be another 'long while' to see one glimpse?
What should I do? What should I say?
The regulars, bye, take care, have fun, have a happy journey and all?
I brush off saying these. Alas! The feeling I posses, can't be moulded into words, sentences, frames.
For a glee person like me, I am used to getting 'used to' to people/things.
I cant even let go off the 'things', not to forget. I still seize the first friendship band I got in 2nd standard, the boxes of chocolates I get, the dried up roses in middle of old books. No matter they get dusted pretty well, I feel secured in heart. Surely, its even harder to say Goodbyes to people. People maybe friends, neighbors, teachers, classmates, friends of friends and what not.
Especially if they are going somewhere where you know the regular hellos would get lessened. The bona fide pokes would disappear. When you would long for a cup of coffer or the messages on phone.

In that case, all I would do is get & give a bear hug, say bye and leave. Somewhere, at the back of the mind, there are a million things I wanna say, but they just get sealed with a smile on the lips and wrapped with an invisible tear in the eye.
Afterall, The Goodbye isn't too Good. 

Caught in the Animation! :O

Vaguely, am completely into this movie am watching on sunday afternoon with biscuits or anything which I can replace with popcorn. How much does it matter if its animated? If its cartoon? The best movies I have seen are either on Disney (mostly) and a few on HBO or Star Movies. Consequently, Disney is the Godfather of animated movies. All I know about these ones are, they'll never let me down. They just make sure, the ending it perfect! These are the ones that gave birth to 'princess stories' and 'happy endings'. Even if they are the one with the dwarfs, or with an evil mother, an evil witch, or and handsome prince, speaking toys & cars, barbie dolls and all the princesses the world has ever known, not to forget speaking fishes too!
"The world is cruel outside. It will break you apart, or eat you alive", is this is what you are ever thinking, then its high time you turn your heads towards these. No matter how dumb, rejected, stupid, irritated you feel, Disney will make sure you completely have a different mind post the movie!
Maybe, it throws you in an imaginary world, but after all, Life is how you see it. Life is how you feel it. Life is what you make it.
Here are the ones that have ideologically won by heart, mind and soul:

The story of a little elephant with huge ears that looks abnormal to many,
and rejected by all, except his mother. He still following his dreams.

the original Alice  in Wonderland. How Life can itself be a 'dream'

Love saves Life. The movie rewarded with 'best Disney princess ever'

Awww!! Pooh! Our favorite bear in the world!  Animals too have heart!

Go outside your comfort level! Sometimes Life's worth a risk!

Love sees no money.

I sometimes still wonder, what my toys do at my back!!

Never give up on dreams! They are the best things one possess

Its never too late to follow your dream. Better late than never.

Until a man hasn't loved an animal, a part of him remains undiscovered

A shark, jelly fishes, whale or even humans come your way, dont ever give up on Hope!
You know you can still make it.

Love sees no face. It only sees heart. At the end, the feelings stay.

Remember, no lies!

If you have what it takes to risk everything to find the True Love, then  the magic
will always be on your side.

Fame is not everything. Love, friendship, Life is found beyond Fame.

No matter how hard it is to prove your worth, keep trying. After all, Adventure
is another name of Life

At last, the pure hearted and beautiful princesses.

Winter Memories

I love winters. This happens to be the best line to stat this post. The morning fog. The colored stoles. The beautiful caps. The cute gloves. The woolens. I happen to love it all. I happen to wear every color other than the usual blacks and browns in the winters.
I look a little fat in winters, that surely isnt the whole book about winters. I love them cos I get dreamy.
I write with my colorful gloves on. And I get lost. Get lost in the dreams of Life. Dreams of what my future would be. And I text him with my colorful gloves in middle of the morning 8:45 am class. I surely hate that class!
And I rest my head on the support made by elbows. The tiny gloves warm my cheeks. And I dream some more now with my face titled. And I stay like that until the bell rings.
Going back home, I saw a tiny cut sleeves jacket at Monte Carlo, a little costly it was. I remember how my mum used to make many such for me. How stupidly the factory 'things' have replaces mumma's 'Love'. I went back home and asked her to make more today itself.
"I am the designer, and you are the tailor.. oops! creator", I said to her.
She briskly refuses my proposal in a laughing tone. I tried convincing, even offered her a salary (Yeah, I haphazardly tried to bribe her) but couldn't. Even though I know the tiny flying threads gets into her mouth and the doctor asked her many years back, never to do it again.
"I'll bring you a mask, mumma", I said laughingly.
The winters were memorizing then, when she used to make tonnes of beautiful sweaters for me and my sister. The sweater with many colors used. Woven with hooks and many colorful beautiful gems looking buttons. The creative necks and collars. I remember how the aunties sitting under sun wiving for their little ones, would stop me from my plays and turn me all around and touch my sweaters and try to hack the woolen codes. They failed substantially.

L-R: Me, younger brother, elder sister, each in our woven sweaters.

The one I still carve for was a grey one, at the back of which, with yellow (my favorite) was written "AAVIKA". I loved it everyday. But, it happens that when you grow up a little, you are forced and supposed to give it to your younger ones. I loathed this ceremony. Instead, I did not get anything as good as I was giving. My heart sank. And sank with every sweater. With every pull over. And I never talk to those "stealing cousins". Today, I dont really know who would be wearing my AAVIKA sweater as my cousins have also grown up now. Hope wherever it is, its safe.
Nonetheless, I started making something, on a very little base however. I made a purple muffler for my barbie doll, which I knew I wont give it to anyone. Yes, I can make mufflers out of a woolen ball. Its not such a work! One day, I will make many for my mumma, for sure.
Happy Winters!!!

The Story of 'Her' Life

I very clearly remember how I met her. In the train. Sitting opposite to my birth. Her mates offering her the vodka, she taking just a sip, asked me "Vodka?", happened to be her first word to me.
"I dont drink", I said
She gave away the drink. Smugged.
Thats where we met. Opposite upper births of train.
And thats how our rest of the night went, talking about which courses we do, ambitions we have, hobbies we keep, people we admire, songs we listen and so on.
We enjoyed the upcoming days together. It was destined we meet, thats what I can say.
Acquaintances we were.
Sadly, not all NSITians stay in touch. Surprisingly, all 'their' people usually sit on the same couch as mine.

Monali Sisodia
Studying in Swami Keshavanand Institute of Technology, Management and Gramothan.
And profoundly, studying in 3rd year when I met her.
An institute in Jaipur where she was to become a Scientist.

Or so, wasn't written.
"I dont wanna be a scientist yaar! Its getting over the head", suddenly a message shows up when I just reached home at evening from the depressing life of 1st year at college.
"Its okay! Maybe you are too sick of exams appearing", I replied
She called.
And in hassled way we talked.
She left it. Just before her exams appeared.
And completely changed her profile.

Monali Sisodia
Frameboxx Animation

An insitute in Mumbai where she is to become an animator.

God will always give you many ways to pick. You must pick what is best for you. For, He shall never pick on your behalf. Even when you think you've happened to have picked the wrong one, He shall rewind the time for you and bring you again the two paths. Maybe the same older ones. Or maybe the completely derived new ones. Nevertheless, He, surely will.

Doleful, we never got to spend enough time with each other. Blithe, she frequently calls and messages me the updates of her life.

Right now, she is about to complete her animation and do a splendind job in the same. With the annual function upcoming at her college, and height maybe 5"10 she is the showstopper of Fashion Show.
With a lovely pretty face she has, I dont know what they will make her fom the "Gothic" theme.

She, completely changed her Life. Took a decision that, she knew will compell her to transform the outlook of herself. Made her parents understand her priorities and grew completely as a beautiful butterfly out of a cocoon.
Moreover, she recenlty did a photoshoot of a model, as far as I remember.
"Toh kya hua khud model nahi ban sakti, photo toh le hi sakti hu", thats the message she'd sent me.

Dont know, when the time shall come and we meet. Do all the things we scheduled. But, the time shall come, I encourage myself .
Lionized into success. I wish she fills her cup with more of that with divine luck, faith, hardwork and beatitude.
Love will always flow from my side, I assure you.