Deep Thought

"A man would do nothing, if he waited until he could do it so well that no one would find fault with what he has done"
- Cardinal Newman

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Chapter 4 : Love

The picture starts becoming clearer & clearer by now. Jenny had moved on from her first love. The love that had its ruins and residue left for over two years. Its all washed away.
Jenny decided to live the life now; for herself .
She'd spend time with herself. She made good friends, and a few best friends, indeed the people whom she needed a lot in the past few years. The people that she desperately wanted were the ones around her, instead of the ones whom she would look out for outside the world. Her temperament changed a lot. 
Jenny grew by this time.
Yet, she didn't want any more "guy" to make her mushy and fall deeper in love. 
All she knew was, she took out time for herself. Knew herself. The spiritual processes began which went on for an year or so. She'd never get bored of herself. She could sit hours all alone. The seclusion wouldn't eat her after all. 
She grew stronger in academics, spend more time with the people around her. 
All this while, she knew what she wanted to do - Live. 
And what she didn't want to do - Love

But, Love happens when you least expect it. 
Jenny was eighteen now. 
Young, charming, at the peek of womanhood.
That's when she met the Prince of her life. He tried & tried to woo her. But, nothing could transit her decision of not falling in Love.
Aghast! she did fell in the crater of it, the disease that even spread through eyes. 
That's when she met the Prince. 
None-the-less, it didn't work out. When Jenny gave implausible reasons and ran out! Even though she did Love him. 
She couldn't breathe. She couldn't Live. She couldn't Love herself.
All Jenny wanted was some more time maybe.
She left the Prince and her magical land. 
She ran into the dark woods. 
But yet, she knew, every night ends with a beautiful morning sun. That's what kept her alive. That's what kept her walking. 
After a few months, she came out of the woods. The world was magnificent out there. The Greenness made her feel alive. The flowers blooming & blossoming gave her magical powers. The sun rays hitting her beautiful white face gave her an unique glow. The spiritual process was over. 
Now, she knew what she wanted.
She wanted the Prince back! 
"Wait! But that's impossible now, I have moved into some other world and I cannot leave this here", Jenny thinks. 
"Is there any other way that I get back to Prince and even live this astonishing life", Jenny asked herself. 
"Why not?" Jenny looked around. Who said that? And she knew it was a voice from deep down.
She ran back to find Prince. To invite him to this wonderland of wonders. She wanted to live into "Nirvana" with him. 
She ran, and stumbled into him. He stood there, not saying a word. 
She told him about this feeling of utter happiness, the land that ended all her troubles. The land where her spiritual journey had ended. 
But the question was, "Will Prince accept her again?"
He didn't talk to her.
"I can't be back", cries the Prince. "You've left me into the unwanted crater of anger & pain", he continues. "You left me for no reason, now am leaving".
"No, you can't," says Jenny. 
"You just can't, I know what my problem was. I left you cos, I didn't Loved myself completely. In order to Love someone, you must Love yourself. In order to know someone, you must know yourself first. And now, when I deep down have encountered all my troubles. I know, I do Love you", she ended waiting for him to say something.
It followed with a silence. The same silence she had listened to when she proposed her feelings to her first love after two years. But, no, she didn't want this to end like that did. 
This was her last lair to Love.
"I want you back so baldy", she pleaded.
But, love never works with force and pleads and begs. She knew.
"I wouldn't force you, if you do feel for me, I'll be waiting", Jenny cleared and walked away.
She gave a final glance at him. Hoping she would have more glances at him. 
She walked. 
But, oh! her beautiful hazy eyes, made the Prince fall.. again.
"Wait". Jenny heard the voice from behind her back. It was the Prince's
"Don't you know its ominous to stop someone who's going", she said with a tilted side smile. 
"As if am letting you go", the Prince said.
She turned and leaps into his arms. Their magnificent first kiss follows.
"So, you Love yourself now, huh?', asks the Prince. 
"Yes, I do", says Jenny twirling her eyes and giving a shrug. 
"Good Lord! I have a competition with you?" says the Prince with a smirk. 
The both laughed and lived together till eternity in the land of "Nirvana".


  1. a.m.a.z.i.n.g......s.u.p.e.r.b....

  2. o jenny my happy she found what she needed...'Herself' :)
    u ended it pretty well mam....hoping to read more of such beautiful 'fairy tale' like stories :)
    & i know they will get more & more beautiful & meaningful with tym.....
    jus let me repeat-'never ever stop writing & most importantly never ever put a pause to your such wnderful wnderful imaginations' :)))

  3. Dear Kriti,
    Its your first comment to my blog, and I feel equally delighted to see you here.
    And thank you for the appreciation. :)

  4. Dear Hardik,
    I feel awe-struck each time to see your comment. Trust me, my comment column has become indispensable of your comments.
    When I have got you on my back, I wouldn't even think about putting a full stop to it.
    None-the-less, I feel out of the world while writing the blog.
    Ergo, when it comes to writing another post- am at your service :)
    Finally, even am happy to see Jenny fall in Love with someone and most importantly, fall in Love with Herself.

  5. i feel proud sometimes to back such an amazing writer in the making :)
    i promise my comments will always be there in form of wishes to see a friend of mine falling deeper in love with her imaginations & always letting the readers fall more n more deep with her writings... :)

  6. Dear Hardik,
    I feel more proud. Trust me, I never thought I'd meet such good-at-heart seniors in the college that too in first year. Its been an honor blended with pleasure having work with you in the society as well as sharing a good bond of friendship. And each of your comment (on & off the screen) has lurked to more to write.