Beginning of an End 2013 #OctPoWriMo day 31

I see the end of this year

Which I have been awaiting for

Things which have gone wrong

Which I will make right next year

Met a lot of new people

I wish they stay forever

Just, this phase irks me

where I have been stuck 

Next year I see me

standing on a mountain top

living my dreams

surviving against the odds

When new leaves will grow

old ones will fall

And the fate I have been accepting

I will write it myself, this time

No, its not that I am complaining

this year has taught me a lot

of pain and of being left behind

For which I thank God

But I want to ride on rainbows too

visit the land of happiness soon

I know the time is coming

I see light at the end of this tunnel

The beginning of an end has started

this era is ending, yes

I will be a star again

I am walking towards the Sun.

This October, probably has been the best time of this year for me, thanks to OctPoWriMo 2013 and Nimue who introduced me to this beautiful concept and stayed with me till this day (I am sure she will stay in times ahead also). OctPoWriMo has not only been an inspiration but an irresistible cobweb of out-of-the-world writers & poets who have immensely appreciated my poems and pushed me till this date. Frankly, without Nimue or any of those beautiful souls who read my poems and took out enough time to comment here, I would have given up long back. True, journeys become easy and fun with amazing people. 

Not to forget the prompts made it all enthusiastic. I admire all the people who gave us those prompts to pen down upon. I have also bookmarked a lot of blogs, I will keep hovering over their writings now.

Learnt a lot here, made new friends too. I will embrace all 31 days of this month for a long time to come.

My heart is filled with gratitude. OctPoWriMo 2013 has been very special to me. 

There she goes & Do you see? #OctPoWriMo day 29 & day 30

Two poems again, day 29 and day 30. 

DAY 29: There she goes

Summer mornings

winter nights

I see you 

standing by

clinging to thoughts

beautiful thoughts

your mind

so clear so pure

Your mood

Blue, yellow or white

Different shades of you

you carry all, once in a while

Now that you have gone

Your memories have stayed behind

Your talks, I see them

standing by the window side

A beautiful spirit that you are now

Your teachings will stay here

every year, by the window side

DAY 30: Do you see?

That girl, do you see? 

The one I am pointing towards? 

was abandoned by her parents

at the age of three

That road, do you see? 

Right next to the huge showroom

a woman living on streets,

gave birth to a boy there; in noon

both died there, soon

That spot, do you see? 

where a mountain of garbage exists

There's a school right besides

with flies and water under benches

how was your school like?

That dump, do you see?

used to be home for many

slums these were

schools and trees these were

for international games

thousands were thrown on streets

That pond, do you see?

was a home for beautiful birds and shrubs

the water now black

used to be blue and white

About "Do you see"- all the verses are true. I have either met these people or read in newspaper. Visited these sites and pointed the same way. Where are we now? What have we done? To our nature? To our own race? Its hard to bring a change in world, because for that we must change ourselves. But, would we?

My Sister & Skin & I am #OctPoWriMo day 26, 27, 28

Posting three poem today compensating the previous days. Of day 26, day 27, day 28 here. Spare me, yet again.

DAY 26: My Sister

For all that she's been
Sister three years elder to me
Fighting the storm
sailing over sees
Selfless she's been 
Does not believe in God
All seasons she blooms
A social worker, a feminist
Bitter she may be
for thats how the truth is
the soldier
the messenger
the north star
For all that she's been 

DAY 27: Skin

Skin

Your skin

Soft its been

Sometimes so thin

What all you hide within

War, if, is your skin

I'd let you win

Beyond zinn

Skin

Day 28: I am.... an introspector

Life goes as it goes

directionless, at times

But a cousin sister taught me

how to focus on energies within

I ask questions

Where are we in life, right now? 

not to you

To myself, often

Of what I am doing

Of what I wish to do

What is happiness, as I call it

What is bliss, do I know of it?

Then I met another person

who does the same like me

well, at a better level instead

He asks questions

and finds answers too

He seeks

He discovers

I hope someday I can

Direct all energies 

and transcend to the universe

in a better way

For I introspect

In search of that light

Birthday and more #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 25

I remember the last birthday
when I'd turned twenty
yellow flowers are all I remember

when countless friends surrounded

I remember the last birthday
when I'd turned twenty
four cakes I think I got
one baked at home
of different colors

I remember the last birthday
when I'd turned twenty
Handmade gifts made my day
along with some cards and all

I remember the last birthday
when I'd turned twenty
But my heart believes
age is just a number-play

Back then #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 24

A girl, tiny girl

climbing trees

playing with rocks

A girl, tiny girl

playing with dolls

building tiny house

A girl, tiny girl

stealing biscuits

running in corridors

A girl, tiny girl

confused with washrooms

using men's for few years

A girl, tiny girl

cycling, hiding

swimming through rains

A girl, tiny girl

dancing, singing

gushing, laughing

A girl, tiny girl

loving her younger brother

not so fond of her elder sister

A girl, tiny girl

who's the princess

of her own world

My mother says there are a few people who, from their childhood directly go to old age. After all old-age is second innings of childhood. In the sense, they never become adults. 

I am one of those. Luckily. 

Just counting #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 23

The hundred sixteenth night with you
in park, under the moon
The twenty fourth hour with you
in bed, warming in blanket
The fifth week after we met
a date, hot chocolate and nothing else
Fifty eight minutes I waited
you had brought flowers of color I hated
Third of September
we decided we wont talk anymore
Seventeenth November
we ended up in bed, with no future
two hundred thirty fourth morning
you said; lets get married
Eighty five years together
we sleep now in crypt, forever

Photo credits to my favorite photographer till date- Hardik Photography

I glide #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 22

The black river

or the black nature

or the black soul

are mine

yet, I glance and glide

across those parts; of mine

The black talks

or the black aura

or the black eyes

are mine

yet, I glance and glide

forgetting if I hurt 

The black sky

then collides in me

The black soil

then uproots me

The black noises which I make

are never heard 

But I do not forget

to glance and glide

and travel on the 

black side; of mine

For one day

The black side; just might

meet the white

Soil to Plant & Sky #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 20 and day 21

Once again I am submitting a post comprising of two poems for day 20 and day 21 for OctPoWriMo. Spare me, yet again!

DAY 20- Soil to Plant

so yesterday was great
cos it rained
i hope you got
the purest water I'd sent

and later it was sunny
when you were busy cooking
yes I know the food was good
You'd sent some down here

This is just a thank you letter
for I am what I am
because of your efforts
i hope you remain blessed

cos you are god's own angel

DAY 21- The Sky

 so infinite

sometimes blue

sometimes white

sometimes yellow 

sometimes black

all colors it has

still for rainbow it awaits

why can't it be happy

with what it has?

See you soon #OctPoWriMo day 19

Your brown eyes 

and wide smile

Is what I think of

from dusk till dawn

Light that you are to me

Thats the only think I see

Let me seek you in

let you penetrate within

One sunset more

next sunsrise you will be here

let me dream of you

yes, I will see you soon

Hide and Lame #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 17 & day 18

I missed yesterday, everyday writing a poem isnt a cake walk for me. But! Today am banging OctPoWriMo with two poems, one for yesterday, one for today. And got this idea from Nimue (our favorite blogger)- miss it yet dont miss it.

Hide- Day 17

Swinging on the swing
the wind would hit thy face
Cycling day and night
the wind would hit thy face
face of a kid, I remember

Making castles of the sand
falling and renewing again
never give up, this no one taught
just a shallow voice from inside
voice of child's pure soul, I remember

Playing hide and seek
or something with a ball
making our own games
and mastering them all
innocence of a child, I remember

Cooking some invisible food
making house under the table
sweating, shivering or just nothing
games of childhood
only a child remembers

Lame- Day 18

Electric wind of the fan

something silly on my mind

its nothing but a day

a boring day, above of all

Some weird faces I make

when am at house and with me

brother would look from behind and wonder

what the hell keeps happening to her

I just want to sleep some more

no specific time for it

lets get over with this poem

and head to bed

Letters #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 16

I stand there
I have known you since

every ounce of you
which grows of you, within

I know about your dark sides
even they have brought me light
have I ever told you?
No, I just wrote it in the letter
letter that lay
in the book you gave

I stand there
down your hallway
which smells like you all across the stairs
I left you something at the door
you couldnt find it?
not your fault, i held it firm and returned
its a letter that lay
in the book you gave

I stand there
when you walked down the aisle
not with me, but with love of your life
I wish it was me, with you
Your hands in mine
But all I have
Are the letters held close
some more letters lay
in the book you gave

I stand there
Watching your kids grow & play
You wave a hand at me
our eyes coincide
but never meet
another decade will pass
our memories grow fade
but come at my home someday
you will find a lot of letters
which lay in the book you gave

I stand there
You look terrible and thin
I never knew how old you've been
To me, you are still the same
They say these are your last days
Fine! Tomorrow I will come
clinching letters tight
bring them out of the book
which you gave to me

I stand there
These are the letters dear
I have been writing since forever
It talks of the love I have felt
With each passing year
Yes, these are some hundreds
will take you some while
But I dont need anything in return
So I am leaving them here
Take your time

I stand here
Silently Kept those letters near him
He didnt make a sound
Along with those letters
I also returned him the book

That day
I moved forth his grave
the wind flew those letters away maybe
I never looked back


I wrote this poem long back but never shared it on blog or with anyone, for reasons I myself don't know. But am glad this has come out, thanks to OctPoWriMo.
Maybe I never did, but I wish to thank Nimue for this, for introducing me to OctPoWriMo basically. After each prompt I learn something new from co-bloggers, reading their's is a bliss and appreciation which am receiving is enormous. The best part is, Nimue hasn't just introduced me to this and left me wandering in this huge world. Rather she is with me, in form of comments on each and every single poem I have written. I don't think I ever had a person like her in my life, until recently. Its as if, not just putting seeds in the soil but also seeing the plant grow, daily. Thank you for being there. For being here! Am blessed to have you. This poem, a little dedication to Nimue. For a beautiful soul she is. 

Humans must die! #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 15

The river was all dried up
Sky had never been this black
with dust and pollution
No one could breath
in this weather

Waste waste all around!
roads covered and houses filled
only with what was of no use
and so they started throwing waste
into the outer space

Birds were flying to south
you know then its a bad sign
animals were running
into a place they had secured
for they knew, this day would come

And finally nature grew out of patience
did something no one would think of
she swooshed her earthely wand
disappeared the human race;
she was once so fond of

Humans vanished like they never existed
got the punishment for the sins they made
this was all in the newspaper, the very next day
printed now by 'Dolphins limited'
Nobody knew, but they could read and write
better than us, in many ways

- and so nature belonged
back to animals and birds
and mountains and sky
and space and rivers
like it was supposed to be
the penguin happily read the news
in its igloo
saying- "thank Nature!
Finally the humans have died!"

I see what all newspaper is filled with, mainly to make us believe what devils we have become. Not just we hurt our own race but also the Nature. Various acts and laws have come in different countries for humans only, but who would do so for nature?
As I always say, Earth would easily survive without humans, rather she will be better off. But not without trees and beautiful creatures who live here. Beautiful creatures, except Humans.
We, sadly, do not deserve to live here anymore.

Shhhh.. #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 14

Another hour of silence

with your hands in mine

eyes seeing you

mind thinking nothing

Just, this silence is so comforting

with you

Sitting in your balcony

observing trees and nothing

Beautiful nature

And beautiful you

Just, the silence is so comforting 

with you

Long walks on the road

hand in hand

I talk about everything

and you listen to it all, not really saying much

Just, your silence is so comforting

to me

The aurora lights I dream of

I see them in your eyes already

You are a gift, I say

Like heaven or even more

Just, your silence is so comforting

A part of life, now it looks

Those Lights #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 13

Light that glow

Lights that lit

Lights that lay on road

Lights that are low

Lightswhich is life-support

Light that life-holds

Light usually lifts

Lights in limelight

Light of ladylove

Light so luminous

Light always lingers

Picture Courtesy Hardik Photography

Don't touch my things! #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 12

So it was quite some while back

pretty things which I cant share. 

"No one dare touch my things"

Thats all I said

Stay away from the bags & shoes

of my barbie dolls

I love it so much 

If you will play with it

Ouch! it will hurt

Going forth on timeline

Little kids who visit our home

always want a toy of two

the stuff dolls

or Doreamon

My mother sees the look on my face

Sigh! Its so hard to give them away

Loving them with all my heart

and now seeing them in their hands

"Dont touch my things" 

Deep down inside, I say

Now that I have grown age-vise

the mind still remains in that time

the toys sit still on my table

the barbie dolls have been

sleeping inside the wardrobe

Still, sharing things which I love

have been, oh! so difficult

For I get attached to things so much

they have been with me all the way

the first friendship band from second standard

fallen beads of broken necklace

earrings that someone gifted

or just the chocolate wrappers

They are all on the form of some memoirs

The shadows dont leave me

Not of mine, but of things I love

But I want them to stay

Stay for the sake of happy times

or sad ones instead

Picture Courtesy- Hardik Photography

Sound of Silence #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 11

I hear the drums beating

"heading toward nothing", I said, you agreed.

Or the piano playing
a singer singing something
in language I forgot already
Midst all that
I hear a heart crashing
a soul twisting
some noises so abrupt
of abuses maybe
Is it yours? Is it mine?
I don't know

The headphones shrunk my head
Ears pain badly now
listening to voices of people
I have never met
I want yours here
I know it wont come anymore
I hear footsteps leaving
back that wont turn ever
Monotonous tone of someone
Is it yours? Is it mine?
I don't know

Humming your favorite song
isn't helping either
all I hear is silence
underneath the words
we never said
Of phone ringing
of messages sent
never replied
Your silence has made it even worse
I shall leave you
with your favorite song

Silence is all I hear
Is it yours? Is it mine?
Maybe its ours
separately;
longing to meet
but never really will 

aaj toh sunday hai na..

kya hua agar 

pyaar thoda zyada kar liya

kya hua agar

zarurat se tumhe kuch zyada chu lia

aaj toh sunday hai na

dhoodh ki jagah pyaar pilayenge

wo bhi ubaal ubaal kar tumhe chadhayenge

kya hua agar

narazagi  mein shikhayatein ghol di

kya hua agar

yuhi do chaar baatein thodi teekhi boldi

aaj toh sunday hai na

baaton ko mirchi banake jalayenge

fir upar se maafi ki mithas chakhayenge

kya hua agar

sach ke saath thoda jhooth bhi bol dia

kya hua agar

besabar hoke thoda gussa bhi kar dia

aaj toh sunday hai na

sachi jhoothi baatein dono saath parosenge

farak pehechanne ki poori chhot tumhe denge

kya hua agar

aaj khud ko thoda zyada sanwaar lia

kya hua agar

baalo ko do baar dho lia

aaj toh sunday hai na

itminaan se sajke tumhse duur rahenge

bas tumhari aankho mein khatkenge

kya hua agar

tumhare dost ko darwaze se hi bhaga dia

kya hua agar

agli baar khatkhatane par darwaza hi nahi khola

aaj toh sunday hai na

darwaze ko andar se taala lagake

tumhe apne aabroo mein band karenge

kya hua agar

bahut paas tumhare baith liye

kya hua agar

ghoor ghoor ke mann bharte chale gaye

aaj toh sunday hai na

nazro se khoob khel khelenge

ankahi adhoori baatein sabki guftagoo karenge

kya hua agar

mann ke chilmann ne bhagwaan tumhe maan lia

kya hua agar

tumhari chaukhat ko maathe se laga lia

aaj toh sunday hai na

ek din toh mitti ki murat ko bhulane do

mandir ke bhagwan ko chutti dekar aai hu

kya hua agar

nakhre aaj thode zyada kar liya

kya hua agar

tumhara haath thaamke raat ko paidal thoda zyada chal liye

aaj toh sunday tha na

agle sunday tak tumhe bechain karke jayenge

kuch samaan nahi

bas yaadein idhar udhar rakhke jayenge

bataurte rehna

ab agle sunday ka intzaar karte rehna

Engraved, not buried #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 10

PART- 1

Suddenly reminded of you a lot

And suddenly, I catch myself thinking

It's buried too deep now. 

Suddenly I can't stop feeling it

But I'm not feeling it as much

It's buried too deep now. 

And suddenly I catch my face contorting

My eyes leaking

My veins visible

Suddenly I'm not such a grown up anymore

Suddenly I'm back in college

The above is originally written by Anup Bishnoi on his blog Grass on Fire named "Engraved, not buried". I picked it up for inspiration. Here is my reply, or better called - an extension to his words.

PART- 2

The walls are calling me more

The windows long shut, are open again

It's uncovering like lost treasure.

Bleak voices of fun

or the tiny rays of sun

It's all uncovering like lost treasure. 

I can feel those days again

But they are passing me by

I know; not here to stay

I still hold them in tight fists of mine

Leaving here a piece of me

which will wander even when I am gone

Until I say someday; yet again 

Suddenly I'm back in college

This prompt of "A reply poetry" submitted by a very close friend Nimue created a void and filled it itself with brighter colors in form of words. Trying to reply to a poem which is an inspiration, is more or less frightening with the first thought of "justifying" it with proper words, which, yes seems next to impossible. 

But once done, it leaves with a realization of how much Anup Bishnoi inspires me (which is deeper than I thought before writing this). 

I am yet frightened if I have done justice to his words and his feeling of attachment to his college days. Again it gave me some more bliss, cos I do not have fond memories from college but thanks to him I lived a little from his side. And yes, this is a tiny (insignificant actually) piece of dedication to him.

So thank you Anup Bishnoi for the impact you have left on me. More of less, for the amazing person you are. Keep doing it, please.
And it doesn't stop without thanking Nimue, for its because of her I went through a lot of feelings while writing this. I discovered a new part of me.

P.S- Apologies, I know it does not match your level of writing, at all. 

Beauty #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 9

The eyes would tell a different story

of her shyness and of her glory

The smile would get a little curve there

where sun would set and disappear

The heart so red and sometimes black

would make you happy or make you sad

Hand gestures that move back and forth

not giving you idea of what she meant

Silly is her mind and her thoughts

she barely says, she barely shares

Her hair is like windy strong

make you go round and round

Her nature is like flowing water

you'll flow with it and reach no end

Thats the beauty of a woman

describing her is so unfair

I should have written this before the lyrical poem starts but anyways- I had so much fun writing it! and singing it in some kindergarten-poem form.

Thanks to OctPoWriMo! 

Love is.. You #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 8

The gleaming glow on your face

Hands trembling or shivering

You remind me of the summer morning

when we first met

Love is.. You

Like the Yellow Sun

Drops penetrating your skin

deep down soothing your being

I look at you

and the rain

Love is.. You

Drops of comfort hit my face

The leaves fall and grow again

A few parts go, a few stay

You teach me often

of letting go

Love is.. You

teaching me more and more

The winter mornings

arrive late and leave early

your warmth is all I believe in

Hidden with you in the blanket

Love is.. You

Melting often; the chilling snow

This poem is not for a lover rather for the feeling of 'Love'. Not being of 'loved' either, but only 'Love'. For me, 'Love' is 'Love' and when things fall apart, I only say- I Love 'Love'. It doesn't really make things right but it keeps my faith firm on 'Love'.

I talk #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 7

Me being strong

me being patient

me being happy

me being perfect

often the positives

make my life so bright

when I know that things

will be on my side

Fate then pushes me

to go forth and forth

filled with success

walking on the path, I see

I am a northern star

Showing everyone the path

People can rely on me

for I will never misguide

Me being weak

me being dull

me being impatient

me being crooked

then comes these thoughts

when positives dont flow

for mind can never be empty

often negativity comes in too

then I stay

like some water at one place

I see none

The star is lost in black sky

who will guide me then?

who will show me the way? 

these are my two halves

which fight sometimes

all along the way

But I put the thoughts aside

for people are still looking 

at the stronger part

for people are still looking 

at the norther star

With You #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 6

The sudden moment which will come

when I shall see you before me

behold you, embrace you

My feet goes cold

The anxiety that comes with you

each time just doubles

I see stars in daytime

My heart makes a sound

The moment of impatience

to touch you or to feel

I halt, yes indeed

There's a crater in my soul

fear resides in it

The stomach churns when you talk

Lips shut tight

Are these butterflies? I dont know

But I know, I am a little nervous when you are around

If I might hurt you

That shall be a sin, in my words

I am a lover #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 5

I am a lover

who dreams day and night

to sit by your side

I am a lover

who wishes to count the stars

stuck on the blue black sky

and on some star-less nights

I shall look in your eyes instead

I am a lover

who prays of a morning maybe

when you are the first thing I see

I am a lover

who grows from inside 

but sometimes is all childlike

I am a lover

who count days when you are gone

The desperation kills me 

But the calender makes me wait

until I see you next

for patience is the key to your fortress

I am a lover

who sees and observes

the falling leaves or the rains

the windy days or cold nights

In them, I see your reminisces 

I am a lover

who talks of you all the time

not with others but with myself

For I dont mind

You left a part of you, in me, to reside

But more than a lover

I can be a friend

A companion when you need

Or a listener in longing

But more than a lover

I wish to be a person

who doesnt demand your love in return

But the one who

beholds your faith and trust

A Gentle Love. A Gentle Self. #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 4

Down the hallwaythere's a woman crying

cursing and praying
at the same time
I wonder what occurred to her
as I take each step towards her
one by one
Only with one motive
I will be gentle
with her pain 
with her sayings
I will understand all her sufferings.

Yes there is a boy
living next door
with a crooked smile
and a broken soul
He whispers often some words
but whimpers more and more
I shall knock his door
Ask him his pain
that dwells in him
I will be gentle
with his shouts
with his cryings
I will understand even if he yells. 

The girl who lost someone close
last year
still has red eyes
and her soul has gone black
She stays mum while walking down the road
dropped her dreams of floating aloof
I shall walk with her someday
talk of whom she lost
and why she blames herself
I will be gentle
with her curses
with her wounds
I will understand even if she doesn't say a word.

For I have found myself
in others' happiness
trying to be gentle with their dreams
has become my gift
And so discovered a piece of me
which lives for others
yes, indeed
Being gentle with them
has made me be gentle with me.

That poem. This day. #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 3

I was lost

in some corners of world

where dark secrets lay

and everything is forbidden

I was lost

trying to find a path

what belonged to others? 

and what was mine? 

I was lost

which direction to go

back or move forth

undecided I moved

But look what I found! 

words to express

words to cherish

words to befriend

And so I let my fear go

driving into the blended poems

Travelling what lies beyond eyes

Into the mist of dreams abound

That was my first poem I remember

written with heart

-The Path

A special dedication to Saumya di for its because of her I started writing. 

Hidden in your eyes #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 2

I imagine your eyes

Often in black & white

sometimes with a hint of sepia

or beautiful touch of brown

For its foolish of me

to draw them in my mind

I wonder what all they hide

I see beauty blended with colors

Painful past or mystical future

I have dreams with you

For you

But I hide

Blur them at the corner of my eyes

Sometime I shall bring them in

Present them at your feet

Till then let me imagine your eyes

This time in more colors

I wonder what all you hide in them

Just like I do in mine

Leaves #OctPoWriMo 2013 day 1

Just another day. Just another October? No! wait! This is OctPoWriMo! Its an incredible disease which makes you write poems daily! Oh no! Am sick with high OctPoWriMo fever! Whats the cure? someone tell me! 

             I found the cure: 

Leaves go from pale to green 

A few new

A few old

all hanging from one tree

singing in one tone

some weak some strong

It grows while it fades

simultaneously, it awaits

for another season

another transition

Its rise and fall

go hand in hand

It sings together the song of

life and death.

So its kind of a fun disease who a few amazing people wants to spread. All you have to do is make a poem out of anything and post it in comments or on your blog. FOR THE NEXT 31 DAYS! Its gonna be fun! Get all geared up! :)

check this out! 

OctPoWriMo 2013