The One Last Time

How do you feel when you know you are seeing that person for the last time? Ending it again & again, you know this is really the end? Its been such a long time since they met. Longer than that, they haven't talked. The messages, the calls, the feelings were all over.
It was raining terribly since the morning. They met, for no reason. Against all the hardships. Not at all for the sake of former love. The long drive followed in the rain. Casual talks about life. Nothing related to the relation they had. He held her hand for a while. She didnt mind. She couldnt really feel as before. His warm hands were really not that warm anymore. After all the fights, the sweet, tender emotions were all converted into anger, anguish and pain. Forgiveness was not the solution. She had moved a very long way. Longer than the sight he could see. Moving ahead in life was the only thing she wanted to do.
Sometimes people are too strong. Strong, that they let the life go on a long way. Pretend nothing happened. Pretend they never met that person. When that person comes in front, they act as if they never knew them. Its not such a piece of cake. She tried that as well and succeeded to a great extent. But once the person hold your hand, you get a flashback.
Time flashed again, for only a little while though. The memories were in little head again. The knee broke for a second again while falling in love with him. The hold went stronger, not only of hands but of heart too. The feelings were back. However, the brain knew it wouldnt last long. It was supposed to end. After enjoying the love for a little while, life was back to normal. Normal- that she was alone and without him. The pain was back again. After what all he did for her and she did for her, everything had to end. That was the last time they met.

At the end, there was only pain.

I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended so soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed..
In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was there that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry...

Have you ever felt the Rain?

Its been raining oddly since afternoon. Oddly in the sense of showering- sometimes high, sometimes low. The balcony has gone tinier since the upper neighbors got a shed. It has covered most of our balcony as well. I hate it. Only a portion of balcony now receives the proper rain.
In the partial region of my balcony which is blessed with rain, are a pair of twin plotted plants. Shrubs actually. They had shed all their leaves in heavy summers. Its been a month since am seeing them deprived of greenery. But now they do bear a few leaves. Maybe thats the beauty of it. There comes a time when you have to shed away all you have. And time comes when you'll get it all back- in a better, greener, fresher way. A new beginning.

I stood in the balcony with a new colorful umbrella, I like how the umbrella covers me. Rather, I like the sound of rain drops hitting it baldy, I know it wants to reach me. It hits each obstacle that comes in between us. More than that, I love the concentric circles each drops makes on the ground. Like the Earth becomes the kaleidoscope.

I didn't mind having the rain drop bless me and kept the umbrella back. Its an out of the world feeling when the rain hits you. That's one thing which you wont mind, no matter how hard it hits you, you don't wanna fight back. The park is empty of children, only the rain playing there. The swings are alone, only the wind swinging. Sometimes, its the Nature that you only need.
It reminds me of the faces of happy farmers. In India, rain is a blessing. Our entire agriculture is depending on it. However, in Europe its considered as a depressing period- the rainy season. Wonder why?
After a while spending in the rain, comes the goosebumps. Amazing.

Picture courtesy- Hardik Photography

You can stand under my Umbrella

Mine is just a simple yet cute umbrella. Sea green in color and light black polka dots, a three folds one. I love it. Not to forget the little green laces at the border. Its very sober. Its very me. I carry it with me every now and then. Its always in my bag.
You'll see a little girl in yellow top and a green umbrella in a sunny day, that's me.
Or you'll see a little girl in blue top and same umbrella, that's me again.
Its three folding makes me more efficient to stay in the bag. Yes, I can no doubt exaggerate my umbrella for a long long time.
Recently my dad bought me a new one. It has 5 colored stripes, yellow, blue, green, red, pink but its not three folded. None-the-less, its just like what a kinder garden girl would have. I carry it around quite often too. A few people hate it, more than a few people love it.
The umbrella has memories for me. Usually or unusually it rains and my friend comes under it. Both fighting for it and yet both get wet from right and left half sides respectively. Or maybe an over sunny day too, friends would come under it again.
To the market, to the college, to the shopping, to the zoo, to the movies, to a friend's place- my green umbrella stays close to me. I keep it safe in my bag cos it keeps me safe too.

No, this is not something that I have.
But something I admire a lot.

So, above was a little post dedicated to my umbrella which sticks with me in the gloomy, heavy rains or in the harsh sunny day. It protects me when I need it most. Saves me and suffers it all.
The song which comes into my mind right now:


You have my heart 
And we'll never be worlds apart
Maybe in magazines
But you'll still be my star


Baby cos in the dark
You cant see shiny cars
And thats when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because.. 


When the sun shine we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath, I'ma stick it out till the end


Now thats its raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella



Even though I know all have watched it many times, but still, this video is never gonna run off the track:

Rihanna- Umbrella!

The Last First Day

Its 2012 now. The last session at college has kicked off. Freshers coming in new wonderful dresses which I know I would never wear at college. Me being in something very regular. I stand at the lobby waiting for someone. The same someone who's been there with me since two years. Till then I stare at people- nothing better I could have done. The walls seem so old yet so new to me. The noises the crowd make makes me feel so related. The person entered the lobby. We went straight to the class. Science- cant help it. The break came, we went to the canteen. Not much people around, but thats how we like it. The canteen seemed a bit renovated though. We preferred to sit outside. Under the shed. And so the talks started. The normal talks. We dont really need more friends. We know we are sufficient for each other. All of a sudden, we started remembering the previous two years- of college, of fun, of friendship, of shopping, of bunking, of fights, of togetherness. We means me & Vartika.

I must admit, this is our best picture ever.

College life has been so full with her, only her. We went into deep thoughts and suddenly it started raining.
"My first Delhi rain of this session", she said
"Of course", I said.
We saw the rain dancing with slow and fast steps. We saw people running back to classes.
"Dont worry, I have my umbrella", I said.
She smiled.
The rain dripping in through the leaking canteen sheds- on us, on food. We didnt bother.
"I just wish we have a plain, simple, tension free year", I said.
"Me too", she said.
 Somewhere deep down we knew the beginning of ending has started. Its gonna be the last year at college. It was the last first day at college of constant classes.
A long silence followed. 

Kahin duur jab din dhal jaye

Kahin duur jab din dhal jaye

saanjh ki dulhan badan churaye

chupke se aaye

My one of the favorites of Rajesh Khanna. We all remember that song. Sung somewhere, heard somewhere, kept in heart somewhere.

I saw my dad's wet eyes as Rajesh Khanna passed away. He was his favorite actor. His' was the first movie my dad watched at cinema when he cleared 10th exams- in 2 and a half rupees- Haathi mere saathi. O! we all have seen it.

The career took a toll. He had fame, love, money and what not. Just a few movies and he was on cloud 9. Elevated with persona. 15 hit blockbuster movies came one after another in only 3 consecutive years. He worked 14 hours a day, daily. 

Ye shaam mastani

Madhosh kiye jaye

Mujhe dor koi kheenche

teri or liye jaye

A romance brewed up the screen with him and Asha. More films came in and he made a beautiful romantic image. Female fans wrote letters with their own blood to him and kiss his car when he passed by. His car had lipstick stains all over. They would marry his pictures and throw dupattas on ground so that his feet wont touch the ground.  3 female fans even cut their write out for him during a movie release. His fate was written now- by his own hands- A superstar was born. 

Karwate badalte rahe

Saari raat hum

Aap ki kasam.. 

And then with Mumtaz- a B grade actress. He gave 8 back to back hit films with her which made her an A-grade actress.

Mere sapno ki raani kab aayegi tu

aayi rut mastani kab aayegi tu.. 

He gave over 160 films. But the major turn was when he was asked to do a Angry young man role. He declined. And so it was given to Amitabh Bachchan who had already given several flops- he accepted. Time changed. We saw Rajesh Khanna vanishing off the screens but not our hearts. Everything changed.

None-the-less he kept his similar nature all throughout his life full of romance, tragedies, memorables and forgetables. On 17th June 2012 he was discharged from hospital. We thought he's fine and so he is home. Eventually, doctors could no longer treat him and sent him home to have his last breath. He never made a public announcement of his liver cancer. We never knew! True as he said in his movie Anand- 'nahi nahi babumoshaye, hum apna gum nahi baattein, yaha thode selfish hain hum'. Zindagi kaisi hai paheli haye Kabhi toh hansaye Kabhi ye rulaye...

His body was taken in a truck decorated with white roses with a huge picture of his' from Anand at the front. A glass coffin was his last carriage. 

His last words- "Time to pack up".

The greatest, simple, down to earth, very ordinary yet extra ordinary, superb actor passed away two days back. A great loss to humanity. I know he was the first ever Superstar but more than that, he was the a great human. His last ad we have of him: Havells. 

"Mere fan mujhse koi nahi cheen sakta".

RIP Rajesh Khanna. You will be remembered as long as cinema lasts. 

Lets all be Captain Planet!

Lately, I went to sabji mandi with my dad. I drove the car which was a happy thing. And then we walked into the Friday market with a huge vegetable bag that everyone has. He only took me to carry things, as I dont have any buying-the-vegetable experience. My dad bought tomatoes, my heart sank a little. He bought cucumber and lady fingers, my heart sank a little more. Tomatoes, spinach, green peas, eggplants, mangoes and many more green varieties followed with more and more sinking of heart. Each vegetable came with polythene. Each accumulated more polythene in the bag we had. I wonder why did we carry the bag when we had to pick polythene? So time came to buy onions & potatoes, I simply asked him to keep them in the bag without the polythene.
My dad explained: these vegetables will get squashed in some corner if not kept separated from each other in different polythene.
I drove back. In that 10 minutes journey to home, all I was thinking was some way it could be replaced or lessened at least. It didn't hurt me that all were doing the same. It hurt me cos I was doing something wrong.

Home back, these were the techniques crossed my mind which can be done easily and wisely. For the planet:

eat the chips but dont throw the wrapper.

^ We can re-use the polythene. If each vegetable is so delicate and fragile, we can take the same polythene each time we go to sabji mandi and ask the vendor to put them in our polythene and not use another one. Its easy.
^Kitchen waste is something which cant be get ridden off. The egg shells, the cut-out vegetables, the bread, milk packets etc. We always need a polythene to throw away this stuff right? Not exactly. Follow this: Cut the upper portion of milk, bread, cereal, pulses packets. They'll become like an open packet which can be used to throw away kitchen stuff. If the packet becomes small, cut out more. Am sure we all bring in milk or bread packets almost daily. (Even lays, kurkure, bingo packets would do).

and it becomes a bag! if your kitchen waste is more, cut out more.
do the same with pulses, cereals, tea, bread packets. 

^And of course, wise saving of electricity: Keep at least 2 hours of time when the entire family sits in one room. For us, its daytime. We often sleep in one room in day time. Saving maximum amount of electricity. Not to forget, as much it creates bonds with nature, it does within the family as well.

Share these simple ways of avoiding polythene and using electricity wisely. Use & reuse. :) Lets move one step towards a cleaner & greener planet!

looks amazing na?!

Rain Rain Come Again!

Rain Rain come again!
and never ever go again!
The two(only) lines of a childhood poem I remember which am humming since yesterday's eternal rain! The downpour of heaven. A gift of sky to earth. A reason to smile to millions.
It rained all throughout Delhi! Am sure all farmers would have been happy. Am sure many children had enjoyed. Am sure many couples had a long drive or a long hand in hand walk or maybe an amazing kiss under the spell of nature. Am sure it brought blessings to all!

For they cannot be caged :)

A part of which could be seen in my central park. So, there was supposed to be a little function for someone who bought a new house in my society (we were invited over dinner). The read & white tent which people were busy putting up since morning was all in water. Mud flowing in all sides of it. Children swinging and running. Driving boats in the tiny so called ponds created everywhere. After a while, mothers came into the scene and took away their little ones. I only kept my slippers in heavy rain. Of course starting monsoon is not fit to dive in! I left it on slippers only. Mumma as always kept all her potted plants in the rain. And so we enjoyed the scene of a destroying tent, screaming mums and running children.
It ended at 7pm or so. I went out. Lovely weather it was! Yellow lighter sky at the horizon meeting dark blue heaven a little higher. Clear sky with no clouds. As if all obstacles were washed away. The street lamps looked even brilliant. I walked those roads speaking of how amazing mother nature is. Bought a chocolate and had fun with me & nature. Later that evening, somehow they arranged dinner in some corner, although the tent was all gone hopeless. It was a beautiful evening. Lastly, again:
Rain Rain come again!
and never ever go again!

And it was all yellow!

Picture Courtesy- Hardik Photography