Am keeping you Forever & for always

"Rain has its own share of magic".
Her mood usually goes with the weather and vice-versa. Cold breeze hits her white face and hair making them flow with its direction. The tiny rain drops starts hitting the red umbrella making a musical sound. She's alone standing under the umbrella where 'they' earlier were. Sometimes its only a walk in breezy rain that you need. It doesn't solve anything, it just gives you an awakening that it shall go on for some more time, just deal with it. She goes for a walk wearing brown rain boots. Street lights look so admiring like a beautiful pastel painting and so does the head lights of car. Her shadow follows her. When nothing is behind you to protect you from falling, there's a part of you for sure who never leaves. Leaves of trees collide with each other with the force of breeze, 'its a song of nature' they say. But it wasn't just an evening walk, she knew where she was going. It took 10 minutes to go the the highway by bus, but she preferred walking, for the nature insisted. After a long walk by time but short by mind, she reached near a tree with red & white strips painted on it. She bent over near a tiny heap of soil, kept her umbrella aside and started digging with bare hands. The rain went even lighter, as if letting the process go easy for her. Pictures started colliding in her head back to back- this is where they met by fluke, where they kissed for first time, where they parted ways, where she buried his last memories. What she was finding was surely a little deep inside, as if buried so with thought of never finding it again.
Some layers of soil and emotions later she found what she has left, found what she was looking for, for which rain went down- a silver heart pendant that her 'better-half' had given her. She removed all the soil over it, picked her umbrella and took a bus this time for she was tired of fighting emotions. She wanted to get back home as early as possible. Back home, the pendant was kept near a frame which had 'their' photo together. Its not really easy to move on from something, especially if a piece of you won't let you do so. "Even if I will never see you or talk to you, I will always keep a part of you with me", she said holding that pendant.

With or Against Nature?

Toys, cartoon character, mugs, wrappings, stationary, decorative items, a lot of things come in shapes of animals easily available at Archies or Hallmark at which we all look with awe. We all, at some point of lives have had pyjamas with antlers faces, or maybe some other cute animals. Animals look cute when we bring into being with human touch. I look around my computer table, I see a turtle toy, sparrow sitting in her nest, four wallpapers of different types of birds, beer stickers all over my room.
Then why are sparrows vanishing, dogs being abandoned, antlers hunted for fun, tigers killed for skins when we love them so much with their fake entity?
I watched an hour and a half length documentary on dolphin slaughtering in Taiji, Japan by Ric O'Barry called "Cove" which killed a part of me as I watched intently. People in Japan watch dolphins in dolphinarium while eating dolphin meat (which has high mercury content) at the same time. A few people say there are not bothered, they cant do anything about it, its not in our country. If you simply try to avoid it, doesn't mean it'll go away. The movie will surely hit you straight in head and heart leaving you think for a real long time about what could be done. I see dolphins in movies and videos and 'mystical creatures' is all that comes in my mind. They've been proved to be more intelligent than humans, you know along with having the power to heal with their presence. Search the internet and so many results appear of people who have survived because of them. Dolphins love us and we only love their toys.
When will humans stop pretending they are ultimate owners of nature? Nature hates humans for what all we have done to her- exploited her in worse condition imaginable. We dont own any living creature. Nobody gave us right for it. We can only own cars and houses or draw borders. We are humans- selfish, preoccupied, not bothered, dictators. At the same time, we can be humans- loving, caring, helping. The only question is which part are we at.

Watch the movie if your inner calling hasn't come yet, it surely will now. Visit- http://savejapandolphins.org/

Empty Lockers

Once a venkyite, always a venkyite

"Finally the day has come when we empty our lockers", I said looking in her eyes and she broke down in tears instantly.
Chemistry Hons is mostly about labs, I say to people. You spend four hours daily in labs, testing, detecting, creating, destroying, burning, breaking, charring, sweating, finding, washing, heating, drying, rushing and what not, obviously wearing a lab coat. In a trice after the final practical, it felt like its time has come to return the apparatuses, empty our very own lockers and go forever out of the place which always felt like ours. No more acid marks on our clothes, shoes or burns on our skins, annoying teachers screaming on head, stinky smell from lab coats which became un-washable for all mothers, all has passed us by. Thats the point when you know; its time to go.
The foyer where we made our plans, files, assignments, the back lawn where we ate and hang out, the front lawn where we prepared for exams, the dark science block, will keep lingering in my thoughts forever; maybe in black & white.
Another great phase has ended.
This too, has passed.
These are a few photos which will remind us of labs for a long time.

The botany lab

Physics ka dark room!

the memories of fuming H2SO4 which aastha is taking with her

monika during physical practical

when we were freshers

inorganic labs

The last words. Of parivartan. Of gratitude.

The remembrances of older days are recollecting in my head like a flash right from my first year to this very moment. "The most important question of life is what are you doing for others?"
Like dew drops each memory is clinging to the tree and will now fall one at a time. With every dream coming true- right from multiple camps to a heavy step like clean satya to a risky business like Sugraahi or haphazard event with slum kids 2 days back, each one has come out beautifully. A real successful year this 2012-2013 was.
I convey my thanks to my members, my family. "I must be cruel only to be kind". I thank everyone for tolerating my anger & showing your patience. 8 am morning meetings or leaving college at 8-9pm after work memories are the ones I am taking with me.
The farewell was beautiful, really beautiful for I could see glimpses of our work at the back of my head and in eyes of everyone with beautiful annual magazine in hands. I do not wish to thank by taking names as you all have made me proud. The team would have been incomplete with anyone missing.
Keep up the good work you guys! Keep going this way; for this way is the best of all. We all have seen this video- but I want everyone to view this when something upsets or bothers you, ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IReflkF4_tc&feature=youtu.be

For now, its time for me to say Goodbye. With tears of joy, of happiness, of pain, of love, of laughter of everything I wish you all good luck for years to come.

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land

Lets Bring Our House Sparrows back!

Why is it a trend? That what is in abundance shall fall down someday.
A few days back Delhi Chief Minister Mrs. Sheila Dikshit announced House Sparrow as "State Bird of Delhi". Launching "Rise For Sparrows"; India's largest conservation programme for these birds, would draw awareness and rise attention towards these beautiful birds, they say. Delhi, considered under one of the greenest cities in world, has surely a tremendous scope for urban conservation. We all know urban population has made it difficult for sparrows to fly in the open blue sky, the fertilizers in soil has affected their feeding on insects and worms and development of buildings has worsened their nesting. If humans need development, why not think of organisms who live with us too?
What has happened, has happened, we should now think what steps we can take for their betterment.
Common Bird Monitoring of India launched its website- Common Bird Monitoring of India
which serves awards, FAQ's, birds in your region, sponsors, bird of the month, latest new, photography competitions etc, all for spreading awareness for all kinds of birds. Lets be a part of this!
What more should we do?
*Go organic! Replace the pesticides in house plant pots and spare some un-affecting worms for sparrows.
*Provide clean water for birds, right outside our balconies.
*Keeping larger bird bath & a bowl of dust bath for birds will surely help. All birds needs them daily. Sparrows need them quite often a day.
*Growing hedges with edible berries will surely facilitate bring them back. Its their favorite meal.
*Putting nest boxes/handies at a safe height for breeding.
An amazing site by Nature Forever Society provides scientifically designed sparrow nest boxes made of recycled pine heart wood & special sparrow feeders on a no-profit-no-less basis- Nature Forever Society
With bird feeders at Rs. 89 and Sparrow nest boxes from Rs. 309 onwards is surely a do-able price for saving these species.  Eager to hear the bird chirping again? Join the cause and bring the sparrows back!

"In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer"- Albert Camus

When 'that' dream came true

When you've spent all your years dreaming for something. To achieve. To feel. To do. That sudden up rise in stomach you feel everyday that the dream is still in head. Dreaming even when sun has risen to its full. The desperation eats you alive all the counting hours of day and it feels amazing. It feels full. To have a dream is more important than to have a life; at times. Especially if you wish to do something which hasn't ever occurred before.

"A man would do nothing, if he waited until he could do it so well that no one would find fault with what he has done"- Cardinal Newman

The grandest of all moments is the one when its just about to happen. The adrenaline rush to its fullest and heart beats beating all earlier records. When all eyes are not on you but on the work that you've done- that 'it' moment when life has different meaning to itself. When you thank God for everything He has ever provided to you. When you fall in love with yourself all over again. 

I felt it too.

But it comes with a parallel worst feeling- now what? The dream is now full with colorful rainbows flying from all directions along with praises and adoration. You've written history with big bold beautiful golden letter and left it for generations to carry forward. You come home and have a good night sleep. The next morning feels a little empty with no more plannings to do. You look yourself in the mirror. The soul is now complete with a part missing. For a person who has dreamed of this all along with every passing day; there's nothing more to do. There's no more dream. There's a crater in mind, in soul waiting to be filled with a dream again. Another just like Sugraahi. 

dedicated to all parivartan members :)

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.
T. E. Lawrence 

You Form An Inseparable Part Of My Life

                                                       -An Irreplaceable Love of Father & his daughter

I see his wrinkles appearing as my cheek bones do
I see his skin getting dull as mine starts getting new
His shoulder gets weak as he carries his bag to work
His feet gets swollen sometimes red
His eyesight is diminishing with every passing seasons of nature
He is my father & I am his daughter


I remember the days he carried me on his shoulder
The long walks in middle of huge forests
Him running besides my bicycle rides
When I look back, I see his face admiring mine
What fury of nature is this
Which I fail to understand?


We see the seasons transiting over time
Old leaves fall and new arrive
The nature but; fails to destroy our bonds
Love; astounding love that exists in our souls
One day will arrive
When he may not be around
When he might be a part of nature only
But sadly, not of me
What will I do then; I ask myself
For I keep shut for a while
And put the thoughts aside


His wrinkled hands may not be on my head
His awaited morning hugs may not be any more cherished
Indeed, life will go on forever
With his teaching that I will always remember
"Believe in yourself", as he'd always say
"Don't look back and to yourself; never betray"


He holds my hand through time of worry
I behold my head up high and fly
The black sky turns beautiful blue at once
As I keep my head on his shoulders
For time may come and time may go
He is my father & I am proudly his daughter