The Conversations

Mr. and Mrs. Singh are a happy-go-lucky couple who have been together since decades. Their children are off-set and married and they live together. "Alone"? I asked. "We aren't alone beta, we are together", Mr. Singh says while looking at Mrs. Singh. And smiled at each other.
Mr. Singh used to jog, but not anymore, Doctor has advised him not to run much; jittery he's a heart patient. I see them usually walking together in the morning.  Mr. & Mrs. Singh are not like any random aged couple, who remain shush all the time- Irritated and make others irritate. They are more of a chit-chat who laugh a lot, remain and make people happy.
Mr. & Mrs. Singh were "arranged" to fall in love. The way they look at each other, smile, laugh is a real calm moment. They do gardening together at their little balcony where they can also be seen mostly seen sipping tea. I guess Mr. Singh sips more tea than Mrs. Singh, along with some home-made biscuits his wife prepares.
They have a son and a daughter, both married and happy. I guess the son lives outside India.
"Don't you miss your children", I asked with a pity face.
"Of course we do, but we are still happy. They have settled, they do visit quite often. Believe me or not, I like it now as I get to spend more time with my wife", he said teasingly as Mrs. Singh pours water in bird bowl, smirking. A funny couple they are. They manage to go for combined tours with other long-time-gone-old couple friends of theirs and send pictures to their children via internet. Mrs. Singh is learning computers currently from a young female girl dropping by on alternative days for an hour daily. Some guy used to come earlier to teach but Mr. Singh refused.
"You see she's still so beautiful. I don't want some man to come and flirt around", he said angrily.
"And the man was even younger than our own son Singh Sahab", she said pointing.
"Huh!", he grinned.
Terrace breakfast is a common site while friends coming for dinner is a rare one. Mr. Singh lately adopted a dog, which he wanted since ages; his daughter was allergic so he compromised.
"Its a nice time", he said looking at his dog.
"Seems like we've gone back to childhood. I don't have to think anymore what people will think, what our children will. I no longer have to satisfy and fulfill our children's need. The pension is enough to live a few more years until we can", he said. And Mrs. Singh slapped his head from back.
I don't think they get intimate. They are quite old for that. They just converse. Conversations last forever. Each relation is based on what you talk and how you talk. Even if intimacy would bring people together, it'll remain permanent. Talks about anything & everything with equal share from both bring people close, bonding them in a bond that lasts till the end of the world. Surely, it takes one lifetime to know a person. One must utilize as much time as possible to remain adhered.
Don't we all want to end up like Mr. & Mrs. Singh?

And they lived Happily ever after...

Illuminating Lights

May every bit of us awakes by diwali diyas

I woke up late today, being a little occupied with cough and cold. The work was already started until I opened my eyes to the day of Diwali. Mum was already painting huge trays in which the candles were supposed to float by evening after puja. Lights are all set in balcony. Only left with preparations by now. Being girls, my mother expects a lot from me and my sister that we might help her with many things. Of course we do try, but before we start, she finishes up things. Even though today I can say quite easily to everything - I am ill, but I wont. I'll feel detached from the festival.
Anyway, puja will began in evening and by then we have loads of work to be done. Decorating not just the house inside, but outside as well. Have to go a little far to buy floating candles because the Delhi Police have strangled all the carts which are outside the market- terror! Next, have to go to friends' and give them gifts which I got for them a week ago (I have this habit of getting gifts a week and sometimes a month ago for any celebration day). Next preparations for puja which takes at least an hour (when everyone is doing some bits of work). Not to forget, the rangoli- which this time we are thinking of very simple one as the ones who make it every year (me and sister) have exams from next week and rangoli takes atleast 2-3 hours at a stretch. Have to get the cells for digicam as well (they went off lately).And then after a long puja, have to start lightening the diyas. Diays all around the house, especially in corners, to ensure every corner is set ablaze. Diyas outside the house too, to ensure God feels welcomed to our house. Diyas which takes away all the darkness not only from outside, but from within the very souls.

The mind, the body, the soul is lightened this day. Make most of it.

Alright then, have to leave for the decoration work, don't want my mum to do it all (cos I wanna be a part of it too). Have fun all of you! Enjoy the festival with more of sweets, flowers, rangoli, decorations, diyas, candles and less of crackers (I guess we all have done our most part at Dussehra too with the fireworks).
Happy Diwali!!!

The Passion. The Obsession. The Addiction.

American Actress, singer, model, a poet and a major sex symbol. With her portraits and statues held all over the country, she is residing in people's heart & mind. The moment one sees her, its a magic that is spread all over the atmosphere. The aura is so strong that one gets completely mesmerized by her performance. With voice so subtle, with eyes so deep, with soul so pure. Everything, yet a touch of feminism. Most of the time, I watch her old interviews on youtube. Crowned by the actual term- Diva, which came first by her. Her pictures are even more alluring; many naked though. She gave many interviews naked as well. But people couldn't resits staring at her beautiful and natural face rather than genitals. 

Completely fascinated by her, I don't wish I was a man. I don't care. She makes me go crazy and barmy over her childish nature. A beauty personified. Yet, she suffered an ugly life. Abandoned by parents. Grew up at an orphanage. Posed naked to earn money for living. Divorced thrice. Longed for true love.

"If you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

- one of her famous quotes

"I know I belonged to the public and to the world.
Not because I was talented or even beautiful,
but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else."

- the women with ambitions, desires and love- only for her fans

As shiny as a snowflake in a snowy mountain range. As bright as a rainbow surrounding the waterfall.  Like a mystic dream of a girl asleep. Like a soft scent of rose. As soothing as sun in winters.

She died 50 years ago- Marilyn Monroe. Love of millions. Admiration of millions. Celebration for millions. Truth for millions. Dream for millions. Inspiration for millions. Goddess of Beauty for all. 

We all should start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. And so are regrets

The outside world want me to Glamour. My fans want me to Glamour. I wont let them down

It was believed that Marilyn had IQ higher than Einstein

Hollywood is a place where they pay thousand dollars for a kiss and  a few cents for your soul

Am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not a devil. I am just a small girl  in a big world
trying to find someone to love

62 feet high statue at Chicago

the cover of recent 65th Cannes festival celebrating her birthday 

A sex symbol becomes a thing. I hate being a thing

Boys think that girls are like books. If the cover doesn't catch their eye
they wont bother to look what's inside.

Still alive in hearts of all.

Her voice is really like what Snow White's would have been.
Love you Marilyn. Wherever you are. Always 

Lost & Found

While travelling in metro, I see maximum girls (ladies coach) enjoying music via headset. Similar scene is observed in bus or while random walk too (I walk a lot).

I sat in the bus for college. Connected the headset to my phone and plugged them in my ears. Scrolling down (just to mention, my phone isn't a touchscreen/ qwerty. Hate complications) I think which song to play. "Lily Allen- Smile or Nelly Furtado-Say it right". After many such question, I played Homecoming- Kanye West. My head and ears starts enjoying. Then does the body while eyes still pop out of the window. What  would be my life without headset? Its like leaving body without soul. After 40-45 minutes, I reached college and tucked in the headset back in bag. The journey seem so simple with them.

Who knew that would be the last time I'd see them?

I lost them somewhere in college.

Music is a bliss

After one and a half year:

Me and Anjali sitting in bus seats (Trust me, life is a bliss when you get a seat to travel in our route) and she takes her headsets out (she knows I don't have those)- "Song"? she said searching for some good one in her touchscreen phone (Yes, I don't have that either). "Okay!", I said. "I guess this is a really long time after I'll be listening to songs via headset". She gave one end to me and said "hope you know how to use that" with a pure hint of sarcasm. "Naah! I was about to put them in my nose, really", I said hitting back with that sarcasm. We heard some songs by Maroon 5 and the journey ended within 3 songs. Its weird, when people are listening to music while travelling, they start counting distance with song lengths.

I reached home and for a second tried to remember my life with headsets (which lasted for only 6 months). I couldn't remember much. I couldn't even imagine myself with 'my own' headsets.

But I imagined myself travelling in metro while reading something. Or walking while embracing world around me. And having fun in bus while looking outside the window. While others enjoy 'music in their heads', I enjoy my own self as my eyes are much busier and doing much interesting job- the hand made colorful pots for selling on road, the kids hurrying to school, wind blowing and purifying mind & body, everything seems soothing and nice. I guess world is too beautiful and has to be admired rather than getting into the headset all the time and missing what lies outside the window. In the beginning, I felt boredom has struck me heavily until I realized the world just want me to notice what is around me. My dad went on asking me to get a new headset, but I resisted. Some time went, and I started learning to do something really productive instead of wasting time- studying/ sleeping/ playing games on phone (that sharpens mind skills) or just sit ideal sometime and relax the mind (when do we get the time for that?). Its all about utilizing the time and managing still not to ignore the beauty of world that surrounds us. 

This is my phone wallpaper.
Don't forget, Life is a pure bliss.

Even though I lost my headset, but I found myself! 

The Fireworks!

Even when I had missed all the fun of Ramleela earlier, I couldn't have missed this one when my dad asked me: 'Dusshehra chalna hai?' I dropped my books and with a big smile a yes! followed. Quickly we left for Dusshehra. After a really long speech by MLA's, dad imitating Ravan's laughter, few mismanagement and heart cracks (cos we couldn't see much where we sat), we left from the ground and stood near the parking area. We knew our major fascination is 'Ravan dehen'. After 20 more minutes of us getting bored, many people started coming towards the parking lot. After 10 more minutes, the part started which I dropped my studies for.

The moment when you forget the origin of studying.

The scenario started with endless fireworks one after the another in the black-blue sky making go people ooo and aaa. They burnt each and every kind of fireworks, many of which were new to us, maybe because we do not burn crackers (left this task 3-4 years back). Rockets of colors had colored the entire sky and with lights so magnificent had brightened up the sky for thousands of us to see with the fact that, it was all happening exactly overhead us. As if, each firework is opening like an huge umbrella over us, which intend to come down and vanish. Never have I seen crackers exactly over head. The heart beat fastened whenever they used to fall down a bit and then vanish. Mum got a step back, she must have thought its gonna fall down. That part never happened though. Experiencing 30 minutes of fireworks exactly over head, ravan dehen followed. Even though, they did a little mistake by burning ravan just after megnath, leaving kumbhkaran for the last, but that's okay! Each one had to be burned after all.

Death of corruption, inflation, poverty- thats how MLA's addressed it! 

Major attraction was kids crying and parents still forcing them to look, and they yelled a little more. Kids, by that I mean under 5 years, have sensitive ears. If they are taken to such events, make sure their ears are closed by cotton because they aren't afraid of the beautiful colors in the sky, but of the noise which hurts them. Do not make them miss a sparkling sky (30 minutes long), that too exactly over head.

God & Me & Science

The time with an essence of God's presence has come. When everyone feels Him around. At workplace, at home, at heart. The home seems nothing less than itself a temple. The main Hindu festival season has commenced.
Invites from friends for puja at home is a very common thing now. With jagrans going on always in someone's or other's place, the bhajans are still echoing in the head after hours. Colors of festivals, shopping, new clothes, crackers making the sky seem of some other color except blue-black (for a little while though) with a hint of winter coming in- just like some amazing recipe of my favorite food!
I, hear some good sound two days back around 9pm. I look out of the window, crackers were doing what they do best with the sky. I listen to some jagrans going on in neighboring society. I imagine my family watching Ramayana at Ramleela Maidan and eating something great from outside (when I was supposed to 'manage' and eat something at home). I imagine it all in pin-drop silence- at home- alone- studying. Tolerating the curse of what they call- The Science.
Humans love the blame game. But I couldn't blame it on God, for Science is not His' and He is not Science's.
Stuck at home for some stupid test, I could only blame myself. I felt alone, left out, awkward and weird. When the entire world around me is busy celebrating God's Birth and Wins (of Good over Evil), I was sitting and celebrating birth of Science- which took away my life in some sense; in every sense I could think of on that day.
With Diwali coming in, all I can think of are my exams, scheduled for only a few days after Diwali- One of the festivals I look up to the entire year.
I wish Science was never made. I wish God was a subject I was studying and focusing on.

Cursing the curse called Science

Anyways, wishes don't come true in Science. Facts does. And the fact is- I have to study to score well and forget everything which comes in between- even if its God (sadly).

Don't Hold Your Breath

Days seem like decades now. Nights dont pass. Mornings dont come. Time doesn't travel. Ears don't hear. Feelings not felt. Heart doesn't beat. Lips dont move. Eyes don't blink. World has stopped revolving. Winds have stopped blowing. Visions blurred.
Its been three weeks since they haven't talked. Complete three weeks. 21 days. 21 longest nights. 504 hours. Zillion times of looking over the phone. hoping the next text is from him.
Maybe he's left. Maybe he's moved on. Maybe he's found the way of living without her. Maybe he's happy.
She kept ignoring the feelings and soon became a core none could broke into. Being stronger than possible. Being strict to life, which has been terrible to her. Being harsh on herself. Being the meanest being to oneself. If by any chance, he pondered into her thoughts, thinking of all the worse he has done, trying pathetically to hate him.
Until that night came...
The night of awakening. That night of loneliness. That night of pain straight into the heart.
When someone is inserting a needle into the heart. When someone is hammering the broken bone again and again. When someone is stabbing your heart again and again. When someone is cutting the wound freshly made every now and then. The pain is intolerable. It makes you scream. Scream and ask 'that' someone to stop. To stop hurting you and go. But what if the one hurting you is 'you'? Painful it gets when the one who's stopping you to live is 'you'. That night was a night of pure realization and quintessential convulsion.
That night all she could focus on were his warm hands, even in chilled winters. All she remembered was his deep brown eyes gazing at her all the time. The indispensable hugs, the tight sleep in his lap, his cozy and comfortable shoulder. His harsh memories disappeared at the flash of the moment.
Life seemed colorful and pleasant again. Only in his lovely memories. She smiled that night to herself and slept into his lap of memories.

The next day, they met.

If one feels amazement with someone at a long drive. Loves to deep drown in someone's eyes at a sunset. Feels special with that special touch over a lunch. Life becomes complete sitting just alongside a lake with him. Scratch your knee again and again falling in love with the same person. Time just passes by like a wind. The world around becomes a haze when he kisses you. The chilled winters become summers with just a hug. Then don't think twice. Fall in love. Once again. And again. And again. Don't hold your breath.

"Anywhere I go, I can never stop loving him.
A piece of my heart will always live with and for him"